strawberries

of rhyme. frustration? love? hate? admiration? lust? fire? failure? shame? desire?

i watch the water flowing through her hair,
as her gaze drifts to the sky.
she tilts her head back so innocently,
it makes me want to cry.
i watch her skin,
for the chill i feel.
as the moonlight hits her eyes.
her flesh to touch,
like tasting strawberries.
it makes me want to cry.

Author's Note

written in 2ooo. the first entry in 'stories of loss and love'.

Reviews

[Autumn's Child]

I agree with Tessa. The last three lines make this piece that much more delicate. It's funny how a poem of such few lines reads like a novel. This is going in my favorites.

[Tessa]

i really like the last 3 lines. :-)

[Suki]

[CLICK] THIS HAS BEEN ADDED TO MY FAVORITES : D

[dorkfish]

strong and full of emotion, such a glimps at the your personal feelings, its a great piece.

[Gandré]

there is an evidence of arrest of the soul between wanting and waiting. I like the entimentality, such a sensitive portrait it is, innocent and pretty.

[Rebecca Chamaillard]

Wow. I can really feel emotion, some true love in that piece. Nicely done. Short, sweet and gets the point across very clearly. You didn't over rhyme, and the rhythm flowed very nicely. I enjoyed it very much! I'll be keeping an eye out for more work ;-)