Cross My Heart

omg! what is this?!?!? Could it be... a..... POEM?!?!?!

Cross my heart and hope to die,

I have loved you for the last time.

No more will you torment my brain,

the thoughts falling like acid rain.

Cross my heart and hope to die,

oh how I'll miss those grey eyes.

But your pupils will not see my soul,

making me lose all sight of my goals.

Cross my heart and hope to die,

I remember when I thought you were mine.

But I found out the day before last,

that it was upon me, the spell was cast.

Cross my heart and hope to die,

my heart started to shrivel and cry.

But there you are with her,

and we haven't spoken a single word.

Cross my heart and hope to die,

that's what I'll do with this kitchen knife.

Author's Note

finally wrote a poem! Thank god, I've been needing to, but I didn't have any inspiration!
reviews please!

Reviews

[Odayin]

So direct. The shif at the end was abrupt. It's actually so out of place..that it fits absolutely perfectly. The change in rhythm, the change in life..well end in life anyway.
You had some grew lines in this one, the meanin basic being thrown at you and it was flowing like a stream. Nice one Sophie

[Brock Scholte]

This was absolutely perfect. A cutting remark aimed at a prevalent problem. Can't wait for more.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice use of repetition in the poem. Sometime we need repetition to get the proper thoughts into our head. I like the flow of thoughts and the ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

very nice write!

[Falling Leaf.]

Is this stemmed from a personal experience? The ending is abrupt but clever. In the fourth stanza-third line, I think you should eliminate the "but." Other than that, an okay write.


Keep doing what you're doing,
Savannah

[Sophie]

thanks! And no, its not from personal experience

[Falling Leaf.]

Ah, okay. Anyway the pleasure was all mine

[SuicidePact.]

this is amazing!

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Wow, this is really great! Excellent work!