Secrets (version 1)

there maybe another poem titled secrets in the future.

Wrapped up in a box

with a pretty bow

the secrets rage

ready to flow

They bubble and cry

begging to see

begging to fly

but I can't let them go

and I can't let them blow

from my lips in a whisper

or a shout

For then. I'll be ruined

without a glimmer of doubt.

Too many secrets, tiny and large

Ready to burst

what will go first?

Is there some way to get rid of this hollow pain?

This guilt?

Is there some way,

to get rid of my secrets,

without having them spilled?

Author's Note

spilled was supposed to be spilt, but that's not a word, so just read it like that :D thanks.
Reviews please!

Reviews

[Monatora]

I really enjoyed this! I thought the rhymes were very creative and the last line (without having them spilled) still sounds great without the rhyme! On a side note, spilt is actually a word! Its less commonly used these days but its the standard spelling of the past participle of spill. I would recommend changing the last line to spilt as the rhyme is interesting and adds to the flow of the poem. However, either way is great! One thing I will say is that I found the flow of the poem difficult in some parts e.g For then. Ill be ruined, without a glimmer of doubt. Maybe try changing up the sentence structure or using different words (synonyms). Overall I thought this was a very well made poem, to leave it as it is would be perfectly fine! 10 out of 10! :)

[dontwakeme]

very inventive and a good read

[Samuel Price]

i like it alot! keep writing

[MandaBear]

nice poem. liked it a lot. thanks for sharing.

[Sylvana]

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to create your own words in poetry to keep the flow. It is was Shakespeare did. ^-^ (and spilt isn't a word? D;)
Either way, another lovely piece of work from you. (:

[Teenage Romeo]

i like this it reminds me of holding in all emotions so tightly in.really good