Whitenoise

And so desperately in the wonderful, occasional

process of rain

they recognized each other quietly.

They did not see each other as

what they used to be

or what they currently were,

but what the other had long

desired to emulate.

He saw her as a kind spirit, with passionate eyes

and a perfect smile.

A diamond among the dust, whose

words speak to even the

most broken of souls.

She saw him as a caring soul, with

ideas crazy enough to happen.

A star whose light has reached the

darkest corners, and a legend

whose music changed lives.

But in the white noise of the rain

with classic rock playing in the car

they dare not speak their

views to each other

because

the only thing worse than creating

as illusion is shattering one.

(M.S.)

Reviews

[Beau Maysey]

Brilliant; I like how right off the bat you suggest with 'and' that a story is already in process and we are seeing just one moment of it, where two lovers have started doubting their own images of each other. Interesting how in the quiet moments of a rainy car ride they have to remind themselves of their ideals.
I've never thought of the sound of rain falling as white noise, but the comparison is believable- I can imagine the static sounds as rain. Nice imagery!
I don't know if I necessarily understand everything about the poem, but I get it enough to realize that this couple needs to seriously consider their relationship.
The picture is somewhat vague; without the poem I might not have understood it was showing rain.

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you so much. I've decided to remove the photo because I don't really think that it adds anything but I really appreciate this review. Thanks!

[katnisscat]

i like it. It's well written. I like the lines at the end.

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you so much!

[Eli Lane]

I have felt this poem before. It's that seeing each other as we should have been. How we would have been, if the world were perfect and there wasn't such a thing as jealousy and regret and words we can never take back. Beautiful, and thank you for sharing this. Good luck on your journey of love.

[Maddi Snowden]

Wow thank you very much! You totally got it! I really appreciate this!! (:

[DevonWayne]

Beautiful and heart touching, thank you so much for writing this. It was amazing. My favorite part was "the only thing worse than creating
as illusion is shattering one.
"

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you so much (:

[Allen Smuckler]

terrific write Maddi though photo is a little unclear.
Imagery is usually visual...in this case, auditory as well
almost like 4D
well done, Maddi
allen

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you very much! (:

[J. Rose]

I love this. Well done! I agree with Omar. The last stanza... wow!!!

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you! I appreciate it! (:

[Omar Fendri]

The last stanza is STUNNING.
I adore the process of this poem... from "they", to "he", to "she", to "they" ... You put us "in the screen" from the very first lines.
The imagery is ravishing. "the white noise of the rain" : interesting. Very interesting.
The photo is as thought-provoking as the poem... however, it could be better.

[Maddi Snowden]

Thank you! I think I might remove the photo, but I wanted to get an opinion. Or I may change the photo. I appreciate it! Thank you again!