Shillfan Demi Sumdae

This poem has three topics, actually. The first paragraph is about isolation. The second is about betrayal. The third is about my beloved. And in the end, it all rolls down to one topic with just one sentence...

Yes, it did break me. It will never end my suffering. Day-after-day it leaves me alone with strangers. Day-after-day it finds a new way to brake me. Day-after-day I cannot sleep. Wondering scarred what it will do next. Wondering, waiting, on the dark side of the moon. It will not let me go, until it finds a revelation.

 

I also have a friend. A good friend indeed. It cannot stop the torture of ones own selfconscience. Why will it not leave me alone?

 

Then when it turns, it must be loved. If it doesn’t, it will expire. This cannot happen under some certain circumstances. It seems the mortal thing that stalks, preys, and will eventually be my death, is also my beloved.

 

This, my company, is love.

Author's Note

Are my metaphors too complicated? Give me feedback. All of the words are used for a reason and no words are incorrect.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

torcher i was thinking this should be torture?

[Hedra Helix]

great first sentence! and though i am the last person who should be saying this I will anyway. (ahh the irony)
spelling spelling spelling.
espc. for something so concise and as powerfully worded as it is in parts a good spellcheck would make a s@$% load of difference;)

[eli mercuree rue]

I dont know what the title means and I'm too lazy to look it up.. lol
I enjoyed the third paragraph the most. It's nicely stated.
the subtle wordplay is fun to indulge in and i do not believe the metaphors are complicated.
and i like that you channeled pink floyd in the first paragraph..

i think in the second paragraph either the first and second sentence or the second and thrid sentence should become one for clarification unless its intended to be a mindfuck..


enjoyable poem. i like it

[Lydia R. Ferraro]

I don't think the metaphors were too complicated. Actually, I thought it was rather simplistic; however, this is not a negative aspect, but I would have enjoyed a little more elaboration. I was curious to know what "it" was all along, and you revealed this bittersweet relationship as the one you share with yourself beautifully--"This, my company, is love." Simplicity worked well with this last line.

[[untitled]]

I think your metaphors at good. Its a bit vague for me but I liked reading it.

[Steve Thompson]

Then when it turns, it must be loved. If it doesn't, it will expire. This cannot happen under some certain circumstances... This is true, that thing that is beside all of us tat can destroy us, to a certain degree. The metaphores are fine, unless it went way over my head, but beside that very good.