The Falling of the Superstar

 

 

 

Accelerated fallen celestial body

Smashed against the surface of this world melancholy

 

Lying cold on the ground

Awakened by the strange sound

 

“This is earth,” he muttered

He felt pain in his mighty wings that looked tattered.

 

He touched his broken wings, they were weak and frail.

He rose up, his body wobbled but he stood still

 

He is asked himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.

Why he felt all this weakness, suddenly he remembered the door

 

Then he dredged up the fall

Evoke the golden rule

 

“Once you fall

You can’t call”

 

The door is forever closed

He was saddened for the power he lost

Confused and alone

He walked into oblivion

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

The higher you soar, the harder you fall. The harder you fall, the more painful it becomes. Your poem can draw a a lot of interpretations. Probably it's because of the allegory, metaphors and symbolism that you employed in this piece. Such application is remarkable. The theme is very universal so many can relate to this. I actually many things in mind which I can connect with this poem. One is the big mistake that a person makes that alienates him from God - like the wicked Lucifer who shunned the Kingdom of God and chose to be tied to the evil element inside him. By making such a choice. He is forever not to have a chance to go back to God's domicile. Another thing in my mind is that a person sometimes forgets to keep the stance of his feet on the ground in the middle of his glory. His whole being becomes carried away into loftiness. That's why when he falls, the pain is excruciating, almost unbearable.
This poem reminds me tat it really pays to be humble all the time.
Nice write, Sir Marc!

Consistency in tenses contributes a lot to the coherence of a literary piece. So let me suggest the following changes: (it's entirely up to you if you will consider them)

Accelerated fallen celestial body
SMASHED AGAINST THE surface of this world melancholy
Lying cold on the ground
AWAKENED by the strange sound
“This is earth,” he muttered
He felt pain in his mighty wings that LOOKED tattered.
He touched his broken wings, THEY WERE weak and frail.
He ROSE up, his body WOBBLED but he STOOD still
He ASKED himself, why? Why he turned into a fragile warrior.
Why he felt all THIS weakness, suddenly he REMEMBERED the door
Then he DREDGED up the fall
EVOKED the golden rule
"Once you fall
You can’t call"
The door is FOREVER closed
He WAS saddened for the power he lost
Confused and alone
He WALKED into the oblivion

=)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe your I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Joe, I consider re-writing it, thanks for the support.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow it is look cool now after the editing, thanks Sir Joe :) your interpretation perfectly right, both can be applied in this complex piece.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks a lot Sir Joe.

[Sir Joe]

You're most welcome, Sir Marc. =)

[Sir Joe]

=) I'm always glad to review your works which delight me. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol thank you Sir :)

[Dakshta]

Really really beautiful write.,great work! :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks my friend :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I am just writing for a month and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank you, I love you all.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the video and the poem. Hard for people who knew success to become less. I believe hardest part of success is maintaining it. The poem told a real story of many. I tell people. Enjoy what you got. Don't know if tomorrow will be. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Brother I appreciate your great thought in this piece :)

[InsanityWriter]

Great work!! So much emotion! :D

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I.W thanks a lot for the review :) I am glad you drop by :) thanks.

[InsanityWriter]

No problem! :)

[Eddie Phillips]

Marc I enjoy your poems. You paint a picture and tell a story in everything you write. I can tell you write from the heart. Continue sharing your gift. I really love reading your work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro. I will and your words is always an inspiration to me :) thanks a lot.

[Nightmare Catcher]

Crushed dreams and souls. A nice poem.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks for your time reading my work :)

[blueholmes]

very interesting piece!! :) everyone can relate to it :)) celestial or not .. this presented the reality of things. life, like a wheel, so many cliches but it's up to us of how long we stay up and down.. our destiny might have been pre-determined, but it's up to us to live by faith and reason.. this really had a great impact on me :)) keep soaring!!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Blue :)

[francis]

nice work when all is well one is high but downfall comes when you last expect

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Bro. your words in an inspiration :)

[DIVYA]

Full of intrigue and deep meaning. This made for a very philosophical read for me complete with the beauty of a mythological story. But very relevant to the celebrities of our times too. Thanks for sharing Marc!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Divya, I am happy reading this compliments :) this empower me to write more good stuff :)

[DIVYA]

Welcome Marc.

[Carnation]

Fantastic write. So much depth and meaning in it.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Angel, thanks for your review :)

[Carnation]

Your welcome, you deserve it.