Inadequate

A Poem by Maria Elise

"Inadequacy at its finest,"should be a sign that is suspended around my neck for the world to see. Everyone claps as I enter, astounded by how incredibly average and empty I am. Their smiling faces hide the malicious words they would never dare say but I know they are there. I taste them upon my own tongue as I curse at myself yet again. I am never happy enough, I am never smart enough, I am never pretty enough, I am never healthy enough, I am never helpful enough. When I walk into a room I feel like I should apologize for taking up its space because I am simply not enough to exist there. There is a reason people cut me from their lives; I wasn't enough to fill the voids that had nothing to do with me and I somehow feel as though that is my fault. When will you realize I am not enough for you and when will you leave? Time will tell and the suspense is killing me.

I am never the main character in anyone's story, I am always a side or supporting character. Never interesting enough for the spotlight, just a gray face in the background. I want to have some defining trait that allows me to be noticed but there is nothing. I am not particularly good or bad at anything; I just am.