I THOUGHT OF YOU

The fifth, and I think my favorite, of 'The Birthday Series", six poems written to my sister in lieu of gifts, during the late 70's and early 80's when a handwritten gift was the best I could do--See "For Rachel, at Thirteen"; others to follow soon.

I THOUGHT OF YOU

I raised the blinds this morning,
The sky was grey--
A martin trilled his warning
I was in for a foggy, rainy day.
'midst these drab thoughts, one warming:
I THOUGHT OF YOU!

Now, yester-morn was another variety:
The Sun shone bright!
My Soul brimmed with a new anxiety--
It seemed my day was beginning just right!
So sublime, and so rich with opportunity:
I THOUGHT OF YOU!

All these weathers, whether of Sky, or Mind
Cause me some part of You to find

In them an aspect, or an expectation
Of what a Day might bring to Fruition�.

Or a lifetime! Now, you see what I mean,
Since you are, at last (too soon!), Seventeen!

August 17, 1981

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I love the sullen intonation of the beginning of the first stanza and how your words rose like the sun at the end and chased the solemnity away. Then, in the second poem, your words rose anew; and in reverence, you thought of your sister.

My favorite lines are:

"All these weathers, whether of Sky, or Mind
Cause me some part of You to find"

If you were interested in perfecting the meter and adding extra "umph," you could simply remove the word "whether" in the first line.

"All these weathers, of Sky or Mind,
Cause me some part of You to find"

It's amazing how the removal of one word can make a line sing!

Great job!

Linda Marie

[R J Askew]

Of the three poems you sent me just now I think this one is in third position. It doesn't trigger any tangents in me and I don't think it has the emotional power of the other two. I think Outstretched Arms is the strongest of the trio. It's cheerful and optimistic...but the other two poems are more moving I think.

[emmajoy]

I raised the blinds this morning,
The sky was grey--
A martin trilled his warning
I was in for a foggy, rainy day.
'midst these drab thoughts, one warming:
I THOUGHT OF YOU!

What a beautiful opening for your poem.. those lines just flow. Thank you sooo much for sharing.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a tender, thought-provoking piece... Speaking of weather, in sky or mind, so moving and brilliant. Excellent write from time past!

[Markymark]

Hmmmm. Another one from the vault? Well I wonder who was 17 in 1981. As always your talent comes through in this piece. I wonder when you're going to run out of old stuff. I don't have any old stuff....threw it out years ago.

Great job (belated) Mark.

Markymark

[Thunderlyrics]

That was beautiful!!