MOVE

Let's move planets together.
For recreational purposes.
Instead of pushing each other
out of each others lives.

Let's shrink ourselves.
Even smaller than
we've made each other
feel over the years
and make sandcastles
inside of hourglasses together.

Use our own tears to keep
them sturdy.
At least time we spent together
looks pretty now.
Well on display at least...

Reviews

[Natalie C]

Nice one, I really loved how you managed to say so much in so little words. Your imagery was quite good in this piece, I particularly loved ..

make sandcastles
inside of hourglasses together.

Such a wonderful sentiment, how one can find some joy even though time is going by so quickly!

[northern monkey]

Like it. Noble sentiments lyrically expressed. Nice job.

[HorrorMaster]

Very nice I like it.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

This is an amazing piece. It describes our society, perfectly. Thank you for the opportunity to read this.

[Farrah Grahm]

I love the metaphorical conceit of sand in an hourglass being time spent with a loved one. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it is a stretch, in fact it makes sense, but there is something otherworldly about it. Great job.

[Marquise]

I am 4 years late lol but thanks for this review. I guess an hourglass represents our human instincts to constantly capture lost time instead of making something with the time we have falling by us.

[Rodney Russ]

Nice poem here. It reminded me of the heartbreak of loss, that is relationship wise.