Meant to be or Not to be

Just a story created in my mind.

“Can I help you miss?”

“A mocha, please” she said, stress in her voice. She dug through her purse for a few dollars and change. “Thank you,” she sighed as she received her beverage. She turned and glanced over the available seating. She moved toward a booth seat and wiped off the table before she relaxed into the seat. She swirled the warm drink in her hands, getting lost in the motion.

                “Excuse me miss?”

                She was startled in the seat and looked up at the barista.

                “This muffin is a gift from a young gentleman,” he spoke softly.

                “Um,” she glanced around. “From whom?” she questioned. The coffee shop was empty.

                “A young man. He was just in here. Tall, brown hair…”

                “I didn’t see anyone,” she declared.

                “You looked rather distracted. Perhaps you missed him. I assure you it’s not from me,” he stated, noticing her detective eyes on him.

                She sighed. “Thank you. Um. It looks good, I guess I’ll enjoy it,” she smiled.

                She stared out the window. Sitting up tall, she noticed a guy crossing the street. Even from the back, she knew he looked familiar. She grabbed her drink and muffin and ran out the door.

                “Hey!” she called after him. He kept walking. “HEY!” she called louder. Her foot slipped on the wet surface of the sidewalk and she landed on the ground. She screamed as she fell.

                Suddenly, a figure stood over her. She couldn’t see his face, covered by a hood. She couldn’t remember if the man she had chased after had worn a hood. He extended a hand to her. She took the gloved hand and rose to her feet.

                “Are you okay?” the deep voice asked.

                She hesitated. “No,” she stammered.

                “Do you need medical help?” he asked.

                The voice sounded more normal this time, as if he previously disguised his voice.

                “No,” she held onto him, gaining her balance. He didn’t meet her gaze. “Are you the guy who gave me the muffin?” she asked.

                “No. I have to go.”

                “Wait! Please! Do I know you?” she tried to reach after him.

                “No,” he uttered. “Leave me alone. Don’t come after me.”

                She stumbled after him. Her leg was throbbing. “Please. Don’t leave me…” she cried out.

                “Excuse me, miss?”

She jumped in the seat and looked around. She was alone with the barista in the coffee shop. She had daydreamed about the hooded guy.

“Would you like a muffin? It’s on the house. We’re closing soon, and we just throw these out at the end of the night. Chocolate chip?”

“Um,” she glanced around again. “Yes, thank you.” She smiled at him.

As the barista walked away, a group of college students walked through the door. The bells on the door rand and she heard their laughter as they approached the counter. She minded her own as she picked at the muffin. She looked out the window. As she gazed at the night sky, a reflection appeared in the window, but she didn’t turn to see who it was.

“Cady?” She turned then.

She paused, speechless.

“Zach? What are you doing here?”

“I came here with some buddies,” he pointed to the guys ordering at the counter. “Why are you in town?”

“Passing through from a conference. Um…” she glanced at the guys now waiting at the door for him. “Your buddies are waiting.”

“Um, let me tell them to go ahead. Can we talk? Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” she smiled. She stared into her coffee as he walked toward his buddies. She pondered about what her and her old friend could discuss.

He returned with his drink as his friends walked on without him. “How have you been?” he asked, looking deep into her eyes for the answer.

She didn’t meet his gaze as she replied, “Good.”

“I see. Well, I’ve been good too.” An awkward silence pursued. “How’s your . . . boyfriend, right?”

“Um, fiancé,” she said as she pulled her left hand from underneath the table.

“Oh.” He looked surprised. “When did that happen?”

“When he proposed,” she chuckled. He didn’t smile. “A few months ago. You are still with, what’s her name, right?”

“Kendra. And, no, actually. She and I decided to move on. We were not right for each other, to be honest.”

She sensed anger in his voice. She didn’t dare ask anything else.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed,” he spoke after the silence. “You’re with someone else. I was kidding myself to think. . . “ He trailed off.

“To think what?” she wanted"she needed"to hear the end of that sentence.

“Nothing. It’s not important. If I was going to say it, it should have been three years ago.”

She thought back to the last real conversation she had with him"winter break when she was 20. They had been at the same party, and she had been fighting with her now fiancé. She could remember him comforting her. He made Kendra jealous by doing that, and he had to leave her to chase after her. He wanted to tell her something, she remembered, but he couldn’t get the words out. Instead, he ran after Kendra. It all came back to her way too fast.

“Oh, Zach. I remember that party. What happened after?”

“Does It matter? It’s the past.”

“How upset was she?”

“Very. She hit me several times. She swears she saw me kiss you. She saw me holding your hand. She went ballistic. Said we were done. I begged her to be rational"not to end things. I lied to her, telling her that there was nothing between us, that I was over you…”

“You lied?”

“It seems so stupid now. I could have been done with her that night. Could have gone back to your side. Maybe then we could have given us a real shot. Maybe you would have left that jerk.”

She knew he had just finished the sentence. Her head was swelled with emotions. All she could manage to say was, “He is not a jerk.”

“What?” he raised his voice. “How can you be so naïve? He was pissed that wouldn’t leave to go have sex with him. He cheated on you! Don’t you remember?!?”

“Of course I do! But I love him and he never cheated on me!”

“He did too. That night. One of Kendra’s friends followed him out and they left together. She seduced him or maybe he did it out of anger. Pick the reason you’re most comfortable with.”

“Stop it, Zach! Why do you want to hurt me? I thought you liked me!” she cried.

He stood. “Damn it, Cady! I love you! I’ve always loved you. Don’t you see it? Our timing has always been off, but I’ve loved you all along.”

She stood and embraced him. She sobbed into his shoulder.

“I love you Cady. I always have.” He embraced her tightly, running his fingers through her hair and stroking her back.

After a brief moment, she pulled away slowly. “I’m engaged to him. And I love him. I’m sorry. But I’m going through with this.”

“No! How can you? Why do this to me then? You always run from me. I’m your toy. You’re rainy day boy. You don’t care about me.” He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. He turned and looked over his shoulder. “I love you, but don’t ever use me as your umbrella again. I’m done with you until you’re done with him.”

Tears streaked her face as she sank into the booth and he walked through the door.

Reviews

[Matt Pellegrini]

Your story does well at capturing timing in relationships and regret for things that were never said or never done. I really liked that about this. I'm also glad you had Cady defend her fiance and not just blow off her engagement. I think if her and Zach would've ended up together, at least at the end of this story how it is now, it would be a bit unbelievable.

It seems like this is a story that could be an early part of a longer one. For instance, Cady imagining getting a muffin from a secret man and chasing after him was nice, but didn't really come into play in this story, other than to give us a bit more detail about Cady and possibly her sort of idealistic and romanticized imagination. I definitely think if this ended up going on longer, there could be more you could do with that scene and what it says about Cady.

I think the wording is a little unclear when she comes out of the daydream. You say, she daydreamed the hooded guy, and I got the idea that she had daydreamed that whole scenario, but I think saying something like, she was startled and looked up from being lost in her swirling mocha, she had been daydreaming, or something along those lines, would really just clear up and possible misconceptions.

The only other minor thing I would suggest is that Zach's line of dialogue, "She seduced him or maybe he did it out of anger," the phrase she seduced him just reads a bit awkward or off. I don't know, seduced just doesn't seem to sound like the right choice to me. But, I can't seem to think of any phrases or rewordings to put in its place, so I don't think it's something that has to be changed.

Your dialogue and tension in this story is compelling though, making it easy to want to keep reading and see how things play out.

[Marsi Maine]

Thank you! I think you have a lot of good constructive criticism! Now that I think about it, I don't remember where I was going with that daydream. I think it could stay in there if I wanted to make it part of a longer story in which she constantly has visions or dreams; the other option would be to remove the daydream and instead have her reflect on some thoughts or something like that.
Thanks again for the review!