I Let Go A Lot/Swimming Upstream

you fall a lot? fine. as long as you keep getting back up

I tried to move on as I should

And as of last night everything was good

But first thing this morning

There I was again

The craving within me

The need

Walking along the desired path is possible

But I feel like I’m swimming upstream

I grow tired

And after going for so long I haven’t even gained that much ground

So I relapse, I let go

In the moment I feel…so…much…better

Then soon the shame comes back

I slipped again

Then I start swimming upstream again

Trying to go along as I should

I feel like I let go a lot

Turns out I’m not a good swimmer

I’m much better at just treading water

I’m good at treading water

It’s not fair

You’d think with as much practice at swimming up stream

I’d be a better swimmer

But I’m not

Reviews

[Enigma Monster]

Ok, I've read I think 4 of your poems today and I can relate a little bit more with each one, but this one...it's like you're in my head dude. This is exactly what I do, over and over. You've done a great job of conveying the struggle of letting go, and how hard (and deceiving!) it is to actually do it. Great read!

[Mitch]

It's a daily struggle that at times I grow really weary of fighting. There are times that I just let go and just...indulge a part of me that I'm not necessarily very proud of, but it is there nonetheless. Almost like going back to square one in some instances. Eventually I dust myself off and get back at it but then I know there will come a point that I get tired of fighting again. I just hope I end up fighting the good fight more than I let go.

Thanks for your words. It's always an encouragement to see something you create resonate with others. It brings me much joy.

[Enigma Monster]

Well now I'm curious as to what your indulgence is. I think we all have our own versions, but if you'd rather not say I understand.
Glad you enjoy my words as much as I enjoy yours:)

[Mitch]

I won't go in to details but I'll just say its something that gratifies the flesh. It's a conflict of a spiritual man vs an earthly man thing.

[Enigma Monster]

Fair enough:)