Walking a Grey Wasteland

alone with a loss of how to change that

My soul feels heavy

Small

A specter that moves through space and time

I look around for the things in my life that lift me up

                To give me purpose

                To smile

And I see them

Still

I feel a shadow on my shoulders

My heart drops like a stone

I want to cry out

                To break out

                To speak out

But I sit as my shoulders slump

I feel like I walk a grey wasteland

The ground barren and cracked beneath my feet

I’m parched for a word

                A smile

                For joy

But I’m afraid that even if I get it, it will turn to ash in my mouth

I am afraid

I worry

I postulate

I assume they want nothing to do with me because they see me for the pretender that I am

I don’t want pity or obligation

But how can I bridge a gap with new found steps I refuse to trust?

So I stand in place

Silent

Unmoving

Wondering why they don’t see or speak to me but knowing the fault is mine

 

I am at home with my failures for they are always with me

Soon they are all I see

I am weight down by them and my soul feels

                Heavy

 

Reviews

[PandaPeaceful]

What a beautifully sad poem. Your words were gorgeously chosen, and I believe many will find comfort within your honesty. Well done!

[Mitch]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the read.

[PandaPeaceful]

Thank you for sharing your writing!