Morbid World

Vilanelle

I ask you, what is precious anymore,
when apathy shines bright amid the gloom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can we treat our planet as a w***e,
no rest, our sons are entering the room...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

How does a man proclaim a holy war
and place the helpless in the path of doom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

How can an open mind escape the gore,
when a woman kills the child in her womb...
I ask you, what is precious anymore?

how is it charity's perceived a chore...
does having gold make right, as we presume...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

When people of the world choose to ignore
their feelings and promote the thoughts of whom,
I ask you, what is precious anymore...
what in this morbid world do you stand for?

Author's Note

I played a bit with amphiboly in the last two stanzas.

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Aaaaaaaaand this is why I love sci-fi fantasy. Escape the morbid world we live in at least once a day. The world is crazy. People are lost and self forgotten and who can blame them. But about your poem... it's very aptly put into words. Your question was repetitive but sinks in at the end ever more. Again, well done. Tyfs

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Cyprian! :)

[Roland Petrov]

I'm not going to stand for it anymore, but I still know what's precious: poems like this one. You put me under the spell of the villanelle.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Roland. :)

[Mitali Shah]

Great write. Matt you are one on the verge of complete leaps and bound. God bless

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Mitali. :)

[Mitali Shah]

your welcome Matt :)

[Ron Spice]

I love the style and the use of the phrases "what is precious anymore" and "what in this morbid world do you stand for." The combination of the two in the conclusion hit the mark with such "umph!" that the questions in your poem are just begging to be answered. The way each stanza ends acts as a rhetorical question of sorts, but your writing goes further as if to say that these questions can no longer be rhetorical; they must be answered; they must be solved. The next question is, what can we do about these wordly issues? Very well written and I'm sure I will check out more of your works when I have time!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Ron. The repetition fits the villanelle form. I tried to poke people in their emotions with this one. I think we hear too many sad stories and they can bounce off us without leaving an emotional scratch.

[Lyingwithlions]

Great read! I like your style and the questions you pose. It's about time for some real answers.
My struggle is how and who to ask...

[mattavelli]

Thank you. Ask anybody anything you'd like. People enjoy conversation.

[Lyingwithlions]

True. I like mind mindful conversation though, not mindless.
Thats rare to find. But that's my problem.

[mattavelli]

Ya, start a conversation that interests you. Avoid the "I reject you first" game. People want to share their feelings, and when they have no true opinion on a subject, they'll often have some genral response canned and ready to use. You could help people practice their thinking skills just by starting mindful conversations. And then mindful conversations would be a little less rare... Two objectives met and potential for exponential growth.

[Lyingwithlions]

That's the truth right there! Also some great advice. I think your poem encourages that, looking forward to reading more.

[Ruth]

A powerful reflection on the world...empathy and compassion seem more lost than ever and it is only by their values will this world survive...saddening on many levels...

[Willard Wells]

Empathy does seem to be lacking in the world and your questions hold great meaning.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Willard.

[E G TEN]

Cool poem Matt, an eye opening statements and
And something for all to talk about, Thanks for sharing!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, E G.

[Kajal Sharma]

i liked it a lot...you know i love poetry written for a cause...keep writing

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Kajal.

[Emily]

I really like this one!
Keep it up!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Emily. I will try.

[AaronFreitas]

"How does a man proclaim a holy war
and place the helpless in the path of doom...
what in this morbid world do you stand for? "
Awesome write Matt... I really like the 3rd stanza. So much to write about when talking about the Holy War but it fits perfect in this theme of what do we stand for anymore? We trash or world and continue to do so until we eventually leave this world yet create a spiraling effect of destruction. Awesome write!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Aaron. Ya, I look at the news on tv and it ruins my mood.