Haiku #16

senryu

perhaps we are clocks

simply here to tell the time

and stick our birds out

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Papaya]

I won't tell you the visual that I came up with in that last line... It's very clever.

[mattavelli]

Why won't you tell me, Ana? :)

[Papaya]

Necks, I thought of necks. Sticking your neck out.

[barleygirl]

This is a nice blend of philosophical & playful. I totally get the visual you convey about the bird . . . could be a cuckoo clock or it could be the middle finger! *wink! wink!*

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Barleygirl! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i think you are stretching this a bit ... i am not sure of the role that clocks and time play with birds .. i think perhaps you are just having a bit of fun taking your haiku to a bit bawdy side ..
E.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Einstein! :)
Bawdy and a bit cuckoo

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .................

[Lorry]

I don't know whether to Ha or argh at this, being the jealous type that is envious of those who can haiku, when I haikant. :)

[mattavelli]

hi, Nemo!
I'm sure you haikould
if you haik-gave-it-a-shot
it's really easy
read morehi, Nemo!
I'm sure you haikould
if you haik-gave-it-a-shot
it's really easy
:P