Introduction

I used to think there was something evil living in my house... But now I know there is. It was like a feeling or an image I tried to keep in the back of my mind and no matter how much I tried to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't there and tell myself I'm paranoid and scared of the dark, I knew it was there.

I used to know that everyone else in the house was asleep, I could feel their breathing change and they'd stop moving around. I was always the last to fall asleep. I would stay in bed knowing that before I slept that something would stir in the basement. An uneasy being. It was hateful and when it was two floors lower than my room I knew it was there.

It spoke to me in a malevolent way. It was as if it wanted me to approach it so that it could do something, but I knew that if I moved into it's space then it would be angry with me. It was territorial, and yet relished the fear that came from confronting such a being.

Reviews

[Matt West]

Dark things in the basement are never a bad place to start with a story, but you need to change things up here. Make your descriptions pull us into the horror of the situation. I think your strongest point is the sleeping house, and then the thing in the basement as a presence rather than something concrete.

But don't tell us its territorial, show us. Get your protagonist out of bed and explore the house. Let us learn more about this thing via action. Show us its angry. Show us its territorial. ALWAYS try to tell your story with action rather than narrative.

And take us with you. And finish the story. I'd like to see where you're going with this. Anyone can say "evil thing in the dark scary basement" and have people go "creepy." A writer can take that concept and take us some place terrifying and unexpected.