Dance in The Graveyard

I compare you to a winter’s night,

A vision of beauty and a breath of ice.

Desired warmth, yet unobtained,

A starry night, unclear to eyes.

The pain of winters felt inside,

A bite of frost, at a glance I take.

A cut to the skin, so long unfelt,

Imagined, deserved, lost in your wake.

The stare in cold, isolated crowd,

lost little boy, once found before.

The noise, the scream, brilliant sound,

Sweet saviour, wrecked and washed ashore.

My dance, in the graveyard,

My breath held inside.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

this is a deep one - as though reading of a life cut short "the noise, the scream, brilliant sound" visiting the place of sleep...the grave. It is a chilling poem. Wrenching to read but well penned.

[Nirego]

My own interpretation is not one of optimism, it's of loss of a dearly loved one and anxiety for the future without them.

It took me a few reads as, although incredibly descriptive, I became lost and confused trying to tie it all in. But that's just me - it's well written. I would look at trying to rearrange "once found before" as I naturally read it with "found" at the end of the line - I believe it complements "crowd" before.

My interpretation comes from seeking warmth, but finding cold,, "a cut" is pain, "lost (in the crowd, the moment) in your wake" - I feel wake is more representative of the post-funeral gathering than the wake that someone or something leaves behind. Etc etc.

I feel the final line is the most powerful - stood over the grave, holding your breath to control your pain, emotions, tears... fearing the future alone.

[Coyote Poetry]

The title brought me in and the good poetry held my attention.
"My dance, in the graveyard,
My breath held inside."
You create place, situation and good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[#SecretWriter]

Thanks you for your review and it's great to hear specifics, I'll try to remember these things in future

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Ruth]

Wow...this is stunning visuals...left a chill where there should be warmth but romantically so...lovely!

[#SecretWriter]

Thanks so much for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it, I haven't been on here for quite a while so will be checking out your writing too, leaving some reviews and hoping to enjoy it just as much x

[Sami Khalil]

A sad dance if it is in the graveyard. Let us hope it is the graveyard of the past looking with hope for the future...Bravo......

[#SecretWriter]

Thanks, I think you've come out with what I thought after I wrote this, Optimism for the win

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:)....