Twice Bitten, Coming Back for More

Love and relationships are so hard. Sometimes one person falls in love and the other is just mildly interested. Other times, they are both looking, find the perfect thing, and are too blind to see it.

 

Such pain as fills his heart he's rarely felt.

Unguarded, unsealed chambers slowly bleed.

By loving hands the cutting blows are dealt.

Assassin, unaware you do your deed.

 

Twice ravaged was the fortress in his chest;

Two times built up, each stronger than the last.

Portcullis gates kept out all but the best.

With perfect grace each barrier you passed.

 

Unfailing summer light streams from the sky.

It finds no joy in wilting pampered blooms.

Unbidden, sunlight shines, it knows not why.

Your beauty, uncontrolled, his love consumes.

 

Brick and mortar crumble, wet with blood.

You leave him to rebuild with rubied mud.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Devons]

I feel a strong affinity to this poem, actually. It is a very beautiful, yet tragic cry from the soul that again is tortured by the understated 'crazy little thing called love'. Normally i am cynical of writing that is so devoted to this subject, but the honest way that you tenderly pick apart the vanquished bones of yet another of its victims is deeper than the usual whining of words one finds elsewhere.
These lines are very telling...

"By loving hands the cutting blows are dealt.
Assassin, unaware you do your deed.
...Twice ravaged was the fortress in his chest;
Two times built up, each stronger than the last."

Really skilfully written -as is your standard- which bolsters the affection your work has, drawing readers across the divide of cynicism.

[Doreen]

Love is probably the hardest thing anyone will deal with in life. This poem reflects the pain and the frustration. I like it. I can relate to this too. I think you did a great job with it.

Only two things: Two times built up (the t should be lower case)
brick and mortar crumble (the b should be capitalized)

[Truly Ross-Wisehart]

Well, I think that your problem is...not your problem at all. It is exhausting to be in love with someone who just does not give back what is given. Starting over does sucketh! Sometimes we just stay because it is easier than starting again...or so we tell ourselves. In the end, starting over is inevitible. Otherwise we die inside.

I feel this, beginning to end. You owe no apology here, in my opinion. Well done!

~True

[Ruth]

No way!
This is a great poem! There are excellent metaphors to this piece that leave even the reader empathising!There is always a new door opening when another shuts my friend, always light in darkness!
Awesome work!
xx