Flagstaff

A Poem by gichellemolden

The wind blows through the pine trees, a hushed whisper.

I hear faint breathing from the horses in the distance.

Rhythmic and calm.

The sound of earth succumbing to their steps as they move across crimson cinders.

I breathe in the northern winds, scalding in their crispness.

The transition of Autumn seeps through flesh, settles into bone.

Rusted leaves and golden peaks encompass the horizon, washed pink.

Cheeks flush rose, tenderly kissed by the impending cold.

All I can see is change

in the seasons, in me.

© 2016 gichellemolden

My Review

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Reviews

eaglepoet

Critique of Poem

I like the title of the piece. It sets the scene as Arizona. From the first line to the last, the piece employs strong diction, which makes the poem deeply descriptive. As I read it, the scenes you were describing came alive for me. My favorite element of the work, is how you reflect on the surroundings you see, as the seasons start to change. I can sense from reading it, that you have a knack for keen observations. This comes acrosss in these words. In my honest opinion, you are a strong narrative poet. I appreciate a poet, that takes in what they view around them, and can put it into strong words.

Grammar Wise
Add a period at the end of the first stanza.
The second line starts a new thought by using I.
I would put a period at the end of line three instead of a comma. The reason I would do this is because "Rhythmic and calm" seem like they would start off a new sentence. At that poem, if you want to start new lines or ideas off with capitals or lower case its up to you. A comma after steps perhaps in the third line. Period at the end of cinders. In line four, should norther be northern winds instead? I would place a period at the end of crispness. A period at the end of bone. A period at the end of horizon. Capitalize washed. Lowercase cheeks. period at the end of cold. lowercase in in the last line. period at the end.

A final note I will add, is that this piece in a marvelous snapshot of what you know and what your familiar with. I believe a series of poems like this would be an excellent fit for your strengths as an observational and narrative poet.