LOCKDOWN ON THE PSYCH/DETOX WARD

A poem about community in a psychiatric hospital

Do you see this community of souls

Clad in tattered rags of light?

This is my family.

Some of us are broken.

Some of us are healing.

We are all damaged.

But unlike those in the outside world

Who judge us,

Even spouses and siblings with their tongues

Like a judge’s gavel,

We never judge one another.

We each give kindness.

We each give compassion.

We hold out a hand.

We love.

We laugh.

Do you see this community of souls?

This is my family.

Author's Note

I wrote this during a stay in a combination detox unit/suicide prevention unit. For a short while it celebrated our unity.

Reviews

[Emunah June.]

So first of all, I wanted to say thank you for coming to me to tell me about this poem, as I feel my day is all the better for it having gotten a chance to read it.

Now, a deep dive.


So, first off -- the "this is my family" rings so true in ways that people who have not been in that environment wouldn't understand. Having worked in a psychiatric facility myself, I have seen people from parallel walks of life find comfort and solace in one another's silence. And what a beautiful thing it can be! (Of course, in my specified unit, I had the unfortunate issue of trying to stop my pediatric patients from forming what they considered to be "relationships", but for adults, that can also be a beautiful thing depending.) There is this sense of unity, this feeling that "no one else gets me but the people who have lived it", and while its heartbreaking in its own design, its also so warming.

What I particularly appreciate in this piece is that you humanized the people that go to these kinds of places. Social stigma and commonplace media would depict those looking for help as lost, crazy, and beneath society. Its an absolutely horrible thing to see -- if I had a dime for every person who asked me "do you use straight jackets?", I think I'd be wealthier than Bezos! The image of those who go to these types of hospitals is barbaric in nature and its disappointing to see what others think of them. So the fact that you not only were able to flawlessly depict your personal journey on an emotional level, but give life and personality to the faces we don't see, really means alot to me on a personal level. For that, I thank you.

Finally, from person to person, I am so proud of you that you took the initative to get help, and (hopefully) feel better and more full for it. Thank you for seeing those around you as yourself -- souls needing guidance to live more fulfilling lives. Thankful you are here today. Thankful you'll be here tomorrow.

And so so thankful for writing like this, both enriching and fulfilling on a personal and creative level. Well done.

[Michael Sun Bear]

Emunah, thank you so much for reading this poem and writing such a thoughtful review. We are both so right, it is only there that one finds others with similar or even identical experiences, the only people who truly understand. Let me add, that in a psych ward, I have found really intelligent, really funny patients. Once I started feeling well, I did not want to leave. I was having way more fun than on the outside.

[Lara]

Sometimes 'normal' is what people agree to pretend to be. And sometimes 'normal' is what people actually are - tatters, and scattered heads, split-ends, scruffy slippers... Love and laughter makes for great meat & taters.
This piece speaks of grace shared at the table and the bread basket that never ran out. Amen.

[Michael Sun Bear]

Thanks for going way back and reading this Lara. I can see I will always be able to count on you for thoughtful and interesting reviews. My stay that I wrote of in this poem provided more fun, more laughter, more peace, more love than I had experienced for a very long time out in the “real” world.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

amazing! as i've told you before, probably more than once, i was in the psych ward not many years ago. when i wasnt feeling safe in my own skin, i felt safe inside those walls. for me it was the nurses who were really the most helpful, but i did like the company of my own kind too. on the outside, even today, i can feel so alone - looking around and everyone is OK with life whereas i am no. and thats a loneliness hard to describe, hard to ignore. but in the ICU there were people struggling like me, people wounded like me, and there it was a community. it was the worst days of my life; it was the best days of my life.
thanks for sharing this.


PS i'm a bit busy but i'll get to reading your stories soon

[Michael Sun Bear]

Thanks for sharing Ern. I spent about ten days there I think. There was a group of us that all came in about the same time. Most of us were detoxing in addition to dealing with feelings of suicide. But as we got feeling better we could appreciate that we were a really kind, intelligent, witty group. We found the game Apples to Apples and it became our newest addiction. I had more fun, experienced more healing, than I had in a very long time.