Missing

I litened to Missing by Evanescence and this is what i came up with in my head.

Twining my hair between your fingers

Stroking my face.

Your hot breath rushing over my neck.

The way you feel, it makes me miss the way you use to hold me.

 

Why leave when we had everything in our hands?

The way you walked

The way you talked

The way you loved me.

 

 The passion in your eyes when you looked at me

I miss you

Do you miss me?

I'd die just to hear you say you love me again

 

To kiss me, To love me, or just to look at me.

 Don't you miss me?

Doesn't anyone miss me?

No, you've forgoten about me a long long time ago.

 

I missing you.

I keep replaying the place we made love

So rexlaxing

So spontanious

So careing The way you heald me, touched me, kissed me.

 

Now its just a memorie just as if you had never done it.

Now i bleed for you and you don't care about me anymore.

Isn't something missing in you tiny world?

No not now, though i'd die to knw you love I'm all alone.

Isn't someone missing me?

Reviews

[Hatchling]

Beautifully written

[Owlgirl]

Well written, this is beautiful and the repition completed it :)

[R.A. Youngblood]

Abliet with few grammatic errors, but it's okay.
This is very emotional, passionate on some verses, sad, emptiness and desperation flows in it, and i like your flow of thoughts. I specially like the beginning.
My only critique is that you should clean and fix the grammar.
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up :D

[Keith]

I liked this sad lament a lot. I loved how you managed to make the longing sensuous. It hints nicely the the power for desire.

Here are some typos needing addressing:
No, you've forgoten (forgotten) about me a long long time ago.
I keep replaying the place (places) we made love
So rexlaxing (relaxing)
Now its just a memorie (memory) just as if you had never done it.
Now i (I) bleed for you and you don't care about me anymore.
No not now, though i'd (I'd) die to knw (know) you love I'm all alone.

Well done, Angelove