Kite

A blank verse poem about loss and how some people are destine to face it

 

With the fairest of breezes,
off I go! I take to flight.
A silken twine holds me fast
looking back, it leads to you. 

 

You, only you hold the twine,
I rise further to the sky
until no sight of you's left,
still, the twine holds me to you.

 

Drunkenly I ride the breeze
knowing that you set my course.
I reach for the high-up clouds
and then strain against your grasp.

 

Soon whipping winds have me caught,
and they sing upon the twine.
A song we both hear and know,
a sorrowful, wailing song.

 

Damage done - the string does part
and I flail within a cloud,
leaving you there, holding twine.
Stringy, stretched, useless twine.

You stand there, left wondering
and I'm lost within the sky.
The twine floats back, back to you
and I'm numb without it there.

 

Away I fall lost to you
as I crash upon some tree,
leaving you with tangled twine -
the folly of flying kites.

 

 

Reviews

[J.Black]

Wow nice metaphor you have going on here. The kite was perfect for it.

"Away I fall lost to you
as I crash upon some tree,
leaving you with tangled twine -
the folly of flying kites."

I agree with Shawn, when I read this I honestly thought of song lyrics as well. That's how good and the flow seems to be great.

[Lauren Marie]

This was such a lovely poem.
You gave life to an inanimate object, and I actually found myself feeling sorry for the kite.
This is definitely a favorite!
~Lauren

[[untitled]]

Very imaginative and quite clever! The metaphors used here are unique, and work very, very well. The message contained is thought provoking, honest, somewhat sad, relatable, and intense. I really enjoyed reading this piece.

Extremely well written and creative!

Brava!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Absolutely, wonderful use of metaphor. A very touching write indeed. Such a sense of longing and heartache. Well done. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very thoughtful and beautifully written poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Angel Baby]

Simply put..this is a great write. Enjoyed very much. Found it a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing. P.W.

[Onyx Sky]

"I rise further to the sky
until no sight of you's left,
still, the twine holds me to you."

Very beautiful in the sense that you realize that even if that some dies no matter how small the connection, the connection is still there (even if it's just a string).

The wind can be a ver sad song indeed. I love the symbolism in this piece, very unique write.

[Jessica M.]

The metaphor of someone being a kite is truly unique and beautiful and the concept of that kite/person only being held to another by just "a silken twine" makes you realize how fragile relationships are and how hard it is not to encounter loss in life.
Nice write.

[[untitled]]

The first time I read this, I thought: Lyrics! The flow seems to tease your verse for me in that direction. Really interesting.

Also, the imagery is really nice, almost bittersweet. Well done.

I look forward to reading more soon--

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