Face in the Static

Face in the Static

Tears stream down my face, stinging my skin. It had been a rough day. I lay in bed, with my hands over my face, my chest aches as I sob quietly. 

I hear a little whisper in my ear. Quickly, I hold my breath, straining to hear it again. 

“C’mon. I know it’s late but… Put your headphones on, and stand up.” Micah whispers to me. Following his instructions,  I shakily stand up. My face is still wet with tears as I slip on my headphones.

Micah tells me to listen to my favorite music. I stand alone in my room, the window cracked open. A cool breeze fills the space, the cicadas buzz away outside. 

“Close your eyes.” Micah instructs. My eyes close, all I can see is the static forming into beautiful patterns of light in the darkness.

“Hold your hands out.” He whispers again. When I hold my hands out, they feel warm. Almost like someone is holding them gently. 

He takes my hands and guides me, stepping back and forth in a rhythm. In that dark quiet room, alone with my music, Micah teaches me how to dance. 

I smile wide, I can feel Micah smiling too. 

My rough day is forgotten as my tears dry. Micah spins me around the room. 

“I don’t think I’ve had fun like this in a long time. It’s always… You know.” I whisper to Micah.

“Like what?” He mutters quietly. I sit down on the edge of my bed now, already tired. 

“Every time I’m supposed to be having fun, like with friends or even by myself… It’s always ruined. Ruined by me feeling shame over things I enjoy, or worrying over if my friends even like me.” I confess to Micah, I’ve never told anyone that before. How could I have?

Micah thinks for a moment, then my hand starts to feel warm again. 

“It’s easier said than done but… You shouldn’t have to worry about what anyone thinks of you. It doesn’t matter. I know it sounds selfish, the only one who should matter, at least with things like that, is you.” He explains to me.

“That does sound selfish.” I chuckle. Micah laughs a little as well.

“Well, you should be more selfish.” He smiles at me. 

With the lights off, and window shut, I lay in bed. Turning on my side to face the window, the static fills my vision in the dark till it slowly forms a body beside me. 

It’s hard to make out Micah’s face through the buzzing, colorful light. I lean closer under the blankets, trying to memorize his face. He stares back.

“Should I be selfish?” I ask quietly. 

“Yes.” He answers. 

“Can I kiss you?” I whisper in the dark. The only light is from the moon, shining through the window behind him.

Micah seems to freeze. The static turns a deep purple and forms a constantly shifting diamond pattern in the shape of his body. He stays silent for a long time, I can feel a deep sadness welling inside him. Even the cicadas seem quieter.

“You should… save that for someone who’s real.” Micah’s eyes won’t meet mine. 

“Right.” I don’t argue, cuddling closer as I pull the blanket further up onto me. A comfortable warmth grows stronger next to me as I drift off to sleep. I feel a hand stroke my cheek.