When did I become so numb ?

When did I become so numb ?

When did I stop caring ?

When did I stop showing my emotions ?

When did I start hiding behind a mask ?

When did I start being an ice queen ?

When did I cut all my friends off?

When did I start feeling empty inside ?

where did I go .....

I just don't know........

I guess i've always been numb ,

I guess I never really cared ,

I guess I never showed any emotion ,

I guess I always hid behind a mask ,

I guess I was always cold ,

I guess I never had any actual friends ,

I guess I was always empty ,

I guess I never really anywhere ....

I just played the role people wanted me to play ,

I lost myself being what they wanted me to be ,

I forgot who I really was ......

I just don't know anymore ....

Where did that happy little girl go ?

When did all her dreams just vanish ?

Where did the light in her eyes go ?

Why is she so cut off from the world now ?

where did she go.......

I lost track of time,

Guess I lost track of myself in the process ..... 

Author's Note

I'm lost and I'm pretty sure I will never be found again

Reviews

[Samael]

Oh I love this so much. I find myself nostalgic for te past, sadly saying "where did I go wrong?"
It is my fault in every situations. I have burned so many bridges and relationships. I could've had good friends, instead I was careless and a fool. When did I become so cold that I threw away my life?

[midnight]

thx for your ommet glad you could relate

[Samael]

Np, take care

[Shineheemi]

Every line explains how i feel, hoping to meet someone like me, sad but true. This is one of my favorite poem I have ever read here.
You are doing great, dont worry, losing yourself is a chance to make the new you.

[midnight]

I have changed myself like I've changed the way I dress ,how I present myself ,I used to not give a care in the world how I looked or who said something about me but now Im self conscious about my thigh gap and all this other crap I like the new me yea but I miss the old me the one who tuned out the world and sad to say but I dont want to be her anymore I love the new me now

[Orange]

I found you, you are loved dear,

[Orange]

Hey you are not lost, infect
you are in a journey of to some where real bright and beautiful, its just a path to go there dont freak out, hold still. hold believe, hold dreams

[alanwgraham]

You've written quite a bleak poem midnight but very honest. I disagree with your note - you may feel lost but there is hope. When you are deep in a hole it is hard to see the light. There have been a few times I've felt low but then come into the sun. In my case i discovered when I was older that I had bipolar and that explained how I felt before. I know that it wasn't a fault in me, just a chemical imbalance which has been sorted out by taking pills. There are lots of things you can do to lift your mood - I run regularly which always makes me feel better. Also human contact is great - joining clubs, playing sports etc. Sometimes if we have real life problems counceling or talking therapy can make a big difference.
Good luck!
Alan

[midnight]

thank you Alan for your inspiring words and helpful comment although I dont like physical contact much and lets just ay I dont like people much either

[alanwgraham]

I didn't mean physical contact! Is saying you don't like people not a defense mechanism to save you getting hurt. They might even like you!