An Impossible Paradise

Imagine a world

where you had said, "Yes."

Where nights aren't lonesome

and cheeks not soaked.

Where laughter echoes off the walls,

like a priest's sermon in a cathedral.

Where less facial muscles are used, 

at least that's what they say.

Where the clouds don't follow as closely

above your sunken head.

Imagine your paradise,

knowing it's too late to go back.

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Imagine a world
where you had said, "Yes."
One can get lost in just those two lines for a long time.
All too often, thinking about that can be far too painful. Only a poet would have the courage to continue in that vein and finish the thought. Choices...we wake up down the road and wonder. It is too late to go back to that exact spot on the path. It would not look or be the same, anyway. The last line is an honest and in the moment feeling, but take heart if the path is still there you can take the detour back to it.

[x_______]

This is a poem I didn't need to read, one I know too well. I'm not sure where you were going with the priest simile; I've heard religion compared to love/lust before but I'm not getting this comparison. But I'm being picky, great poem.

[A.Lee]

Imagine a world
where you had said, "Yes."

Those two lines and the last two lines really pulled the poem together for me. Knowing that its an "impossible paradise" and yet you had the opportunity at once to say "yes" and you might have had that... But not its too late. Now you're wishing there weren't so many lonesome nights or unavoidable cloudy days... I really like this. Well written.

[Adora.xo]

Where nights aren't lonesome and cheeks not soaked. Imagine.. I like this poem alot. There is a very faint, and familiar flame of hope. But with each line, a drop of cold water slips down your shirt. Because you have none of it. And the last line... Was a bucket of cold water rather than a drop. The diction in this piece is simple, but filled with meanings, and the short size of it is perfect. It's short, sweet, and to the point. Wonderful job, love.

~Adora


PS: Imagine a world
where you had said, "Yes."
Would you have gained more?
Or would you have gained less?

~Adora

[Rhine Wolf]

such pain, such sorrow,

"Where the clouds don't follow as closely
above your sunken head."

this to me was the best line and defined the poem for me.

Blessed be,
Fallon