The Perfect Night

I walk in the room

And there she is

Laying naked on the bed

With her hair let down

The fireplace is all aglow

Two glasses of champaine

On the tray.

As I wrap my arms

Around her body

It rids me of all tormoil and pain

Fufilling all my wants

Not forgetting my dreams

You truly are the woman for me.

With your tender touch

And your radient smile

I just want to rest 
In your arms for a while.

 

Reviews

[shadadakiya]

very sweet when some on elove you it means eveything takes all the hurt and pain away very good craft

[Fran Marie]

A very soft expression of love~ Very nicely penned!~Fran

[Annalisa]

This was good, though there were a few grammar issues. Half way through the poem you change tense. suddenly she goes from being her, to being you. Pick one or the other. Throughout the poem you don't have much punctuation, only three or four periods, and honestly it would be better with either more punctuation or none at all. With the sparse little you have there it actually distracting. And finally in the line "It rids me of all tormoil and pain" the use of the word it bothers me. In the rest of the poem she is this wonderful thing that you cherish and need and suddenly she is an it? Perhaps you should change it to "She rids me" or "You rid me" depending on which tense you end up picking. But good work.

[LilyGrace]

Nice... I like the way you describe how a lover's arms can rid you of all troubles and worries - it's so true. Everything seems to melt away when you're in the arms of the one you love. I like your simplicity of language and style. Good write!
LGD