untitled

free write

walking alone through the cold dark night,

I find myself searching.

searching for any sign of the person i used to be.

searching for the creature that

i know once lived deep within me.

for the person i want to be,

need to be.

only finding instead

the hollow shell left behind when

i decided to run away from myself.

watching for any part of my soul,

the most personal part of myself

that I gave up so long ago.

will i recognize myself?

will i recognize me?

where is the crying babe of yesteryear?

where is the timid child of long ago?

not quite a woman, yet no longer a child.

no mother's apron to hide behind.

so i bury myself far beneath the layers of pain,

the blankets of bitterness,

the sheets of sadness...

hoping to one day,

awaken to a happier life.