Strawberry Vodka

 

I wish I had a back seat or alleyway,

Like a parking ticket

I’d toss loneliness there.

 

Her strawberry vodka still waits

In an almost empty refrigerator.

The quick glimpses of strawberries

Take me to wet haired nights

Where I could still smell her shampoo.

 

It’s not quiet in here,

Not when the road hisses from passing cars.

 

A year ago she put it there.

The strawberries are a dead pale now.

 

It’s not quiet in here,

Not with Wednesday night rains.

It’s not lonely here,

Not when I have the vodka bottle.

Reviews

[Greg the Bard]

I have never found anyone in a bottle of boozes. But as old as I am I will try and help. Please drop me a line when you get in town and the bottle in on me. Ha! Great image and I'm reminded of some back streets in Paris. I like the way you bring the road and the hiss of its surface forward. This flows verywell. Great Job!

[PianoandPage]

found you through your sister and boy am i glad i did.

i really like this piece.

the first stanza is fantastic although a little awkward... i'm not sure how i would rearrange it but the image of tossing loneliness like a parking ticket is just mind-bogglingly good.

the repeated use of the vodka bottle is also very nice. the end which to me suggests that the bottle is sort of the narrator... releasing pent up thoughts and feelings to "keep company" with the anti-hero.

great stuff.

[Autumn's Child]

The whole poem is just like one lovely breath. And then you end it with a sigh:
"It's not quiet in here,
Not with Wednesday night rains.
It's not lonely here,
Not when I have the vodka bottle."
Each line alone would be just that, a simplistically beautiful line. Put together, they are a million wistful feelings focused on the memory of the one you are missing put forth like a slow dance. Thank you for giving me a glimpse to your beautiful sorrow.

[Pointblank]

Lonely till you open the fridge...who can't relate to that. Simple things bring the memories back and u did it here with grace. I see it and smell it..can almost drink it! Wonderful.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

well well wellllllllllllllllll this is quite wonderful!


"I wish I had a back seat or alleyway,

Like a parking ticket

I'd toss loneliness there."

that beginning was just fantastic. the only problem with such a great beginnign is you have the task of carryiing that greatness throughout the piece. but i definitely think you pulled that off here.

the next verse was mny next favorite part, with the amazing imagery of smelling the shampoo...those intimate moments that haunt us the most.

and the ending... made me think you're not alone because she's there... not just her memory, but her bottle.

this is really quite awesome. thanks for sending it my way. i guess i have no choice but to favorite it :P

hugs

[Mokey]

Really nice -- I love the way you have a theme set up here, and the way I can see and smell the vodka and strawberries. :) Wonderful use of all the senses!