We Crashed and Burned

We were running with it

Every word or phrase

We listened to what each other said

Soaking up each word 

Till we burned 

Spoke too fast 

Got caught in all these lies

All we asked was more and more

Not ending 

Till we crashed 

Falling for each other fast

Faster than imagined 

All caught up in each other

Now that we have crashed and burned

There is no more

No more us

No more running 

No more.... you

Just me 

Me and my thoughts

Me and myself

Me and.... my loneliness 

Because we are no longer 

running with it

getting caught up in each other

and these lies

Just me 

no more you

no more us

and no more.... faith

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Young love can be a powerful, but disillusioning experience. Partners can identify each other as "the one," and develop vast expectations of perfection. Crashing and burning is a distinct hazard, but it should not be the source of bitterness and isolation. It is in fact a lesson in experience that can be built upon to develop more sustainable relationships.

[Marie Kinnett]

Yes it is, thank you for your comment

[Vol]

Marie,
It seems there are a million love stories that all end with regret. Love is "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." Poor Bukowski whines about it in every other poem he wrote. When we wake up and walk away, for most it is either in despair or hard anger. And as we walk away, it comes as no surprise that our feet are covered with red Tennessee clay and weigh a hundred pounds that will not release. Years, decades later we're used to it, but it's still there, still slowing us down. It is almost universal these days, so it should come as no surprise that marriage is on the wane...

[Marie Kinnett]

thank you, your comment is beautifully written

[Kenneth The Poet]

Wow, that was quite the trip. It reads like the end of life or a relationship is near and there's barely any hope left within the one who's expressing their thoughts and feelings.

[Marie Kinnett]

thank you, Kenneth

[Michael Sun Bear]

Marie, hey really terrific job with the repetition: repeat of”running with it,” repeat of “Til we” crashed, burned, “No more” repeating several times, “Me and…” repeating. The last stanza is perfect, love it. And I like where you used the pauses between words, the…., you did it just enough, not overdoing it. You took a common story, the quick falling in love, then falling out, and you told it in a really interesting way that held my attention. Well done, I am proud of you!

[Marie Kinnett]

Thank you it just pop up in my head and I needed to write it out

[Jimmy Crapped Corn]

Great writing, love stinks

[Marie Kinnett]

Thank you, yea love can stink but sometimes it dont

[Relic]

Yes, faith can be lost along with our happiness when things that looked so good go wrong. I like the ending and that little pause. Nice writing, Marie.

[Marie Kinnett]

thank you that means a lot to me

[BananaBellPepper]

Your wording is powerful and the dramatic pauses are good. I like the rhythm of the lines.

[Marie Kinnett]

why thank you. I wrote this about a love gone wrong

[BananaBellPepper]

i know...i was there

[Marie Kinnett]

who are you

[BananaBellPepper]

ive been watching u for a long time...

[Marie Kinnett]

bro that's too far

[BananaBellPepper]

¯_(ツ)_/¯ such is life

[Marie Kinnett]

bro goodbye

[BananaBellPepper]

goodbye for now ;)

[Elliiii]

Oh this is amazing, you finished this off so well

[Marie Kinnett]

thanks took me awhile