"Half Awake" (a Villanelle)

Villanelle

Where only darkness heard me scream,
in that awkward state, half awake,
I fought to shake a poisoned dream.

So lonely, wretched, was the theme,
I feared that I would simply break
where only darkness heard me scream.

But I was tangled, it would seem,
in the coils of a satin snake.
I fought to shake a poisoned dream.

My senses slow, my pulse extreme,
my hands and lips began to quake,
where only darkness heard me scream.

Frantic, I searched for any beam
of moonlight. For sanity’s sake,
I fought to shake a poisoned dream,

that drowned me in a wicked stream,
and caused my heart and soul to ache.
Where only darkness heard me scream,
I fought to shake a poisoned dream.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good use of description. In the short poem. You create dangerous situation and places of mystery.
"Frantic, I searched for any beam
of moonlight. For sanity’s sake,
I fought to shake a poisoned dream,"
I like the above lines. Hard to rid mind of the poison thoughts. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[mlundstedt]

Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[W.k.kortas]

With the exception of the second line of the third stanzas (which strikes me as a foot long), the meter and rhythm are pitch-perfect, and it maintains a nice narrative string, which is an awfully hard thing to do with a villanelle. Awfully solid work.

[mlundstedt]

Thank you! And I think you are exactly right re the third stanza.