Three days late in coming home

A fun poetic story

Three days late in coming home

My wife you’re furious with me

But listen close, this stories true

It’s what really happened to me

 

I stumbled upon a stone

too great in size to be missed

yet I was looking straight ahead

and now the ground I kissed

 

 I lay gazing upon the stone

I see it stained with blood

so… I was not the first to fall

on this trap here in the mud

 

As I stand and get my wits

I try to move the stone a pinch

I see now why it is still in place

for it would not budge an inch

 

So I sat upon the stone a bit

to think what I should do

To help the next poor soul

from the same fortune anew

 

now sitting there I see something

I’d completely missed before

within the trees I see

A slightly hidden door

 

When I rise to walk to it

I see the door no more

I sit back down and there it is

so I crawl across earth’s floor

 

As I breathe the dust in

That my hands did stir up

I must admit my dear love

My head was quit messed up

 

I watch the blades of grass

Turn colors unknown to me

I swear it true this second part

 the birds they laughed at me

 

I finally reach the door I’d seen

Yet now it’s too small for me

So I laughed and knocked upon it

Next thing I know…

…. poof I’m here with thee

 

 

Reviews

[Muse]

Entertained by some of the comments below...anyways. This is more of a prose...that tells a great story. I feel like it is your husband telling you to please be patient with him...he was late because he was injured. He then begins to reminisce about his experience...and in his state of confusion...poof...he's in purgatory once second...and poof...three days later he's home with you! I may be way off the mark...sorry...this is what I got out of reading you. Wonderful penning.

Muse

[emmajoy]

Smiling at the finish, always a good sign! A pretty mix of poem and tale, meter reasonable, great ending - tongue in cheek. You'll have the guys making copies to keep by for similar awols!

[A Soapy Mess Stories]

loved the magic in this...good write....

[Arielle Ann]

what I liked best about the write was the simplicity of language...however I loved the story you narrated through the lines! bravo!

[writer witch]

I like that this poem is a story. I would've liked fewer grammar errors. You can blame that on poetic license, but I think it would've worked better with grammar help. I also like that it has a story-book quality about it. I would try to get more creative with rhyme scheme and patterns, now that you hace something like this down. Try and keep the story-book quality you have going, but now incorporate longer words and different patterns.

[RachelReaper]

this was a fun, humorous poem to read, I really liked this, it was almost fairy-tale like.

[Pencrafter]

Your story/poem is fun and entertaining. Just don't expect anyone to believe it actually happened. After being three days (or tree days) late he might make up a good poem of his own, ending with 'poof, I'm gone'.

[lee von cleef]

and you bought the story,
Smiled ,Kissed ,Hugged,The weight in the mind
a cocoon of caterpillar,stew
Weaving your welling silk eyes shut.

[Stanley Wilson]

cleverly written great work

[Pax]

smooth and lovely write...the twist in the end was great....
a Great tale..