shouldn't

I'm not really sure

in the matter of 4 years, my decisions have chewed me up and spit me out on a sidewalk.

everything feels wrong, the smell of manderines shouldn't make me puke every single repressed emotion inside of my brain into a gas station sink.

I shouldn't catch my reflection in a passing window and see the physical form of rage.

I shouldn't feel comfort under all the wrong influences or wake up terrified I'm everywhere but my bedroom.

I shouldn't feel a lot of s**t,

4 years later and I'm feeling every goddamn bit of it.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WHOA! This is powerful! I’m not too crazy about a message that’s utterly dark like this. But you’ve managed to express it with such gut-level artfulness, I can appreciate how dark this darkness must feel for the narrator (which I hope is not you). It’s the way you pick totally original ways to show instead of tell. It’s the way you start out expressing yourself with a bit of restraint & then things crumble, until we get to the last two lines, which feel like spitting venom. I know how this feels & very few people can put it into words sufficiently as you’ve done. I hope this isn’t a long-lasting state of mind for you (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[wordman]

i guess we just need to cry out