More Things I Don't Know!

Duh!

 

     1.  Why is it that as soon as you settle in for a nice steak dinner, 7 or 8 Blotto Beers, and a night of watching Sanford and Son reruns on The Backwards Network, your phone rings, and it’s a dude trying to sell you an extended warranty on your electronic unwanted phone call blocker.  Turns out, the Do-Not Call list you signed up for was actually a Do Call, and Keep Calling Until the Person You Called Gets So Frustrated, They’re Liable to Buy an NRA Membership, So They Can Make You Shut Up So They Can Finish Their Now-Ice-Cold Dinner in Peace List!

 

     2.  Why it is that your cable goes out during the big Tractor Pull, sponsored by Sugared Wango’s, and now you’re left in a silent apartment; having nothing to listen to but your upstairs neighbors fighting over whether, underneath all the dirty clothes and last Sunday’s spilled dinner, the carpet used to be light blue of cream!

 

     3.  Why is it that the Republicans in congress, namely the house, can get away with spouting the worst sort of lies about the President, vile and racially-motivated, when their ‘facts’ are easily-debunked by all media outlets except where the Republicans must be getting their news from, ‘The Tin-Foil Hat’ Channel.  And, why are so many rational-thinking politicians believing this crap?  There just has to be a conspiracy somewhere, they think.  Oh, I know; Obama has most of the lame-stream media under his control, and wants the public to run these so-called loony tunes out of town on a rail.  And why is that, you ask?  Because he has secretly cornered the market on all rails in the country; then, when these freaks are run out of town on a rail, he’ll cash in and go to live in his manor in Kenya; you just watch; see if it doesn’t happen!