Piss-Ant Teddy!

Smiling Toy Shop # 14

     The line was out the door.  Thanks to the advertisement that Mr. Vesta had placed in the local newspaper, which read,

      “Kids, are you bored this summer?  Well, have we at the Smiling Toy Shop got the cure.  You’ll be amazed; you’ll be flabbergasted, when you come into our shop, and see the surprise that’s waiting for you!  We guaranty you’re in for the shock of a lifetime.  Gather around the display table set up in front of the register; we’ll see you as soon as the doors open on Saturday, the 22nd!”

     Jasper was staring at all the smiling faces of each of the children and their parents lined up outside, and would have had a queasy feeling in his stomach, if he had one.  S**t, the adults were bad enough, but oh how he hated those little sawed-off pecker-children.  He knew that he’d promised Mr. Vesta that he’d help him save his store by speaking, but he was having some severe doubts.  He hated the little b******s, and the thought of having to carry on a conversation with the little droolers was intolerable.

 

    “Okay, Jasper, are you ready?” asked Mr. Vesta.

     “S**t, I guess!” answered Jasper.

     Mr. Vesta walked over, unlocked the door, and started to open it.  As soon as the waiting kids heard the ‘click’, they surged forward, sending the door swinging inwards, and knocking Mr. Vesta off balance.  He staggered backwards, turned in a vain attempt to stay on his feet, and took a header into the display rack of hot wheels, which suddenly set free, rolled in an attempt to escape.  The kids all rushed toward the table where Jasper was sitting, with their parents half-hearted and ineffective warning for the kids to watch where they were going.  The kids, meanwhile, were screaming,

     “Where’s my surprise?  I want to be amazed!”

     Jasper took one look at the screaming horde of pecker-children descending on him like a plague of locusts, and made up his mind.

 

     Mr. Vesta had collected himself, and all the kids gathered around Jasper.  Vesta was pleasantly surprised.  This had gone well, except for the being trampled part, and visions of bags of money filled his head.  He wasn’t too sure how he’d capitalize on it yet, but maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to raise enough money to not only save his store, but have some left over.  Jasper had been so right; this looked to be a gold mine.  He raised his hands for quiet, and was completely ignored.  The kids just went on screaming, until Mr. Vesta yelled for silence.

     “Welcome, children; I’d like you to meet an amazing teddy bear; say hello to Jasper.”

     Jasper felt himself being picked up, and purposely kept his body relaxed.  Mr. Vesta then said,

     “Say hello to the nice children, Jasper.”

     Jasper stayed rag doll-limp, and didn’t utter a word; he could see the little rodent-b******s leering up at him.  If Denbo was here, they’d have gotten a reaction they wouldn’t soon forget, but he wasn’t, and they certainly wouldn’t be getting a reaction from Jasper, no sir.

     “Come on, Jasper; say hello to the kids.”

     Jasper stayed silent, and the watching people began to grumble.

     “S**t,” said one little child, “This is your surprise?  “A bullshit lump of crap, that’s supposed to talk?”

     “Johnny!” scolded his mother.  “I know it was a ridiculous premise to begin with, and it’s free, but that doesn’t give you any right to swear.”

     “Now, wait a minute; this teddy bear talks and walks, if you’ll just give him a little time,” said a getting-desperate Mr. Vesta.

     “Oh, okay, although honestly?  A living teddy bear?”

     Mr. Vesta whispered, “Please, Jasper, do or say something.  I’m dying here!”  Still no reaction from Jasper. 

     The parents all shook their heads, grabbed their children’s hand, and headed for the exit.  Among the grumblings was heard,

     “Come on, let’s go home, Danny; you see, I told you not to expect anything.  It’s just a desperate ploy by an old man to get some attention.”

     Mr. Vest lost it; “Why you double-crossing piss-ant!” and Jasper felt himself blast off for a trip across the toy shop, as he was thrown savagely up in the air and across the room, where he crashed painfully down among the hot wheels already littering the floor.  He hurt, badly, but didn’t utter a sound.  Son of balls!  thought Jasper, as he lay face up on the floor, and watched the last of the customers walk through the door.  As he watched, the kid walking by on the sidewalk outside, through the glass, he just caught the kid flipping off the store.  Then he too was spirited away by his mother. 

 

     Jasper lay on the floor for awhile before struggling to his paws.  Mr. Vesta sat with a murderous look on his face. Jasper started to say,

     “Sorry, Mr. Vesta; I just couldn’t go through with i--“ 

     Vesta gave him a look that would have melted solid steel, and stomped off into his office and slammed the door behind him.  Jasper felt bad for Vesta, but knew if he had to do it all over again, he would.  Those little sawed-off pecker-children!

 

 

   

    

 The End