'Road Flare Cigarettes'

Fake ad for a new cigarette brand!

     "Hi friends, 'Smiling' Jim Smear here, back to tell you about an amazing new product that will save you valuable time.  Introducing 'Road Flare Cigarettes'; the new cigarette that not only satisfies those nicotine cravings, but doubles as a handy danger-warning road flare as well. 

 

     How many times had this happened to you?  You're bummed out, driving your 30-year-old 4-door in to work, depressing work, enduring a hang over, and reefing on a cigarette, when 'oh no!', you feel the tell-tale thumping of a flat tire, you're miles from a gas station, and it's getting dark on this freezing winter's evening.  What WILL you do?  Oh yeah, put your spare on; except you forgot; what spare?   It went flat long ago, and you've been meaning to get it fixed, but a lot of fricking good it does you now!  You get set for a nut-shriveling (unless you're a woman) hike of many miles in the cold and dark, when you suddenly remember you purchased a pack of 'Road Flare Cigarettes', the first cigarette that comes in a handy magnesium pack; that's right, simply torch the package these excellent cigarettes come in, and light up the roadway (even, God forbid, underwater) for miles.  Sure, the package weighs a bit more, and is almost impossible to extinguish, but you'll be so grateful for it's light, that you won't mind.

 

     So, don't get stranded miles from anywhere, where you run the risk of being de-brained by a thief; ignite the magnesium packaging that 'Road Flare Cigarettes' come in, and combine recreational pleasure with highway safety!" 

 

     

Reviews

[The Mutterer]

I am not quite sure why, but this did make me laugh quite a bit. It reminds me of all these weird products you see coming out of America and it wouldn't surprise me if this was bioeng retailed somewhere, Nice Job ;) My favourite weird product is by far the banana case, so that your banana doesn't get squished during transport...

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you; and the banana case sounds like something I would think up as a joke!