New Project Backwards story # 7

More Steve Weaver

     The by-now well-known confusion swirled around his head, and Steve slowly opened his eyes to behold a man with a large nose that seemed to dominate his face, glaring at him.  The nose was speaking, or rather the mouth that fell in its shadow,

 

     "Steve, you got drunk again and passed out.  It's a good thing I came out of my office just now; I mean, you'll remain a loser for the rest of your life if you keep that up.  I'll be late for the maiden voyage of The Titanic if you don't pull your drunk a*s together."

 

     The Titanic?   "Ah, I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to drink so much," he replied, even though he obviously hadn't had a drop.  Telling Morgan the truth would only make him that much more certain that he was right.  He tried, but failed, to tear his eyes away from what reminded him of The Elephant Man. 

 

     Morgan definitely noticed.  "If we had more time, I'd pose for a photograph; it would last longer, but we don't; now get out there and bring the car around to drive me to the White Star dock so I can catch the damn Titanic."

 

     Steve had  to talk him out of sailing.  "Ah, sir, do you think it's safe, I mean, it's only April, prime season for icebergs."

 

     "Oh, f**k, yeah, I'm scared shitless; considering she's unsinkable.  S**t, Steve, have another drink there, because this house may be swallowed whole by the Earth, because we're due for another big earthquake, aren't we?  Oh, did you feel that?  I think it was a tremor; oh God, this is it, the big one!"

 

     No, the big one is attached to your face, Steve thought.  ""Yes sir, I'll bring the car around now," he replied, desperately trying to think of a way to stop him from making it.  As hev was shuffling towards the front door, because he had no clue where the car of which he was the driver was located, Morgan's booming voice seemed to shake the very walls,

 

     "Where in the hell are you going?"

 

     "Ah, out here to bring your car around."

 

     "You drunk a*****e, not that way, out the back way, in the garage.  Don't tell me you're so drunk, you forgot where the freaking garage is?"

 

     Steve had to fight to not reply what he was thinking.  Look at the size of that nose!  Instead, he replied, "Of course!  I'll just pop out to the garage and warm it up for you, sir."

 

     As he walked through the dining room on his way that Morgan had pointed, he saw the silverware had already been lined up next to the gold-rimmed dishes, awaiting the next rich gathering.  Thinking fast, and on the fly, Steve picked up a steak knife and quickly strode through the kitchen to the back door.  Once outside, he quickly spotted the garage.  Pulling open the side door, he noticed a shining Black Cadillac Touring car.  He plunged the steak knife he was holding into the rear left tire, and the hissing sound of escaping air rose to his ears, and it quickly went flat.  Then he quickly went back into the mansion,

 

     "Sir, I'm afraid I've got some bad news; one of the tires is completely flat, I'll have to change it."

 

     "S**t!  No, forget it, it's over 61 miles to Southampton; and the ship sails in an hour.  By the time you get through f*****g around with putting on the spare, we'd never make it.  We'll just have to release a statement to the press claiming I decided to stay on vacation in Aix, France instead of the truth, which was my dumb-a*s driver was drunk out of his mind, and woke up too freaking late to change a freaking flat tire; oh, by the way Steve, you're fired! "

 

     Weaver was secretly glad, but feigned outrage.  "What?  Why you beacon-nosed son of a b***h; you can't fire me!"

and holding his silver-tipped walking stick like a baseball bat,

 

     Morgan seemed to come unhinged, shouting, "Why, you little piss-ant!", and swinging his silver-tipped walking stick like a baseball bat, advanced on him.

 

     Steve quickly shouted, "Get me out of here!", and he caught one more look at the glowing-red snozz of a livid Morgan coming at him, then his world went dark.

 

The End