Mr. Dolten

The next in the Smiling Toy Shop series, but I lost track, so this is either story # 19, or it's not!

By Mike Stevens

Smiling Toy Shop # 19

 

     All that is missing is the blue haze, thought Dick Dolten.  Memories of his younger days flashed into his mind, as he remembered the way it used to be inside a tavern, any tavern.  It wasn't like today, where they may as well serve milk and cookies, because that's the way they treated customers now days; like little kids.  He half expected the bartender to say 'heads on desks, kids, it's nap time!'  Whatever happened to the days when every patron looked and smelled like a cross between a long-haul trucker and a camper sitting too close to the campfire, with the hurricane wind blowing right into his or her face?  Not being able to see or breath somehow seemed added to the atmosphere of a tavern.  Oh well,  he thought morosely.  He had to face it, it was time to go home; home, to face his wife Doris.  She'd screech at him, asking where he'd been and chastise him for going to the tavern.  He wanted to ask if she knew where he'd been, why did she ask, but he knew that would only make her even angrier, so he'd just say, "Yes dear; whatever you say dear!"

 

 

     Oh no, he was at the sidewalk.  Another 20 seconds of peace before Hurricane Doris broke over him, and drowned him in ridicule.  Reluctantly, marching like a condemned prisoner on his long, last walk to the gallows, he walked up to the door and opened it as slowly as he could.  Immediately, he wished he'd have stayed for one, or five, more beers, as Doris, just as he knew she would, started right in on him, asking,

 

     "Where have you been?"  She kept up the sarcastic verbal barrage, but he had tuned her out, saying, "Yes dear!" in all the appropriate places.  When she'd vented her spleen, and all of her other internal organs, he said quietly, "Where's Davy?" 

 

     Her face took a break from turning beet-red with anger,  "He's in his room; why, do you think he has beer and a jukebox in there?"

 

     "Ah, ha, wifey makes a funny!" and she kept berating and belittling him as he sought escape in his son's bedroom.  Gratefully, he knocked and didn't wait for Davy's answer, he just swept into the room and slammed the door behind him, muttering, "Thank God!, Does she ever  shut up?", already knowing the answer was no. 

 

     He could have sworn as he came through the door, that he saw movement from the two teddy bears now lying motionless, staring up at him with sightless eyes, but he just chalked it up to all the beers he'd had.  If only it would make me think of his wife as an inanimate object, instead of the very-much-alive and screeching sea-hag she was in reality; he thought.   "Hi-ya, kiddo; what's ya up to?"

 

     "Not much, Dad," he answered, seemingly sneaking a nervous glance at the two teddy bears lying on the floor. "I was just about to turn in." 

 

     "It's only 7 pm; are you feeling okay?"

 

     "Yeah, Dad; I ran around a lot today, and I think it tired me out," and to emphasize the truth of this, he yawned.

 

     "Boy, you are tired.  Why don't you get out your P.J's and put them on, then I'll tuck you in?"

 

     Inside, Davy cringed about both wearing the pajama's and going to bed so early, but he wanted his dad to leave, so those 2 b*****d-bears wouldn't say anything stupid.  "Sure Dad; sounds good."

 

     "Here, I'll grab your P.J's," and he opened the top drawer of Davy's dresser and pulled out his pajamas.  Davy grabbed them and went into his bathroom to change.  Upon his reemergence, he was wearing pajamas with feet.  This was more than Denbo, who'd been silently watching, could resist.

 

     "What are you, a baby?  I mean, look at those things, only spaz rejects wear pajamas with feet in them after a certain age, and I thought  you were beyond that age, but maybe not; do you want us to leave so your mother can nurse you without an audience?"

 

     Mr. Dolten stared in shocked disbelief at Denbo.  Then Jasper sat up and said, "Screw it; no reason to stay quiet now, thanks to Mr. Moron here.  Way to go there, ace!" and he nodded at Denbo.  Denbo sarcastically replied,

 

     "F you, dip-s**t!"

 

     "Oh, F me?  No, F you!"

 

     "Ahhh, what the hell?" yelled Dick Dolten, who had, up until this point, assumed he'd seen wrong, and he staggered backwards with eyes looking as big as hubcaps. 

 

     "Way to go Denbo; are you happy now?  Scare the s**t out of everyone, why don't you?" spit Jasper. 

 

     Meanwhile, Davy said, "It's okay Dad, they're pretty harmless.  I couldn't believe it either; Mom doesn't believe me; thinks I'm lying."

 

     "Hhhoooww, wwwhhhaaattt?"

 

     Just then, the grating voice of Doris reached their ears through the door, "Dick, what in the hell are you guys doing in there?  Sounds like a reject roundup in there; keep it down"

 

     Mr. Dolten immediately forgot his being frightened, and flushed red with rage instead.  "We'll be quiet, Dear!" and he rolled his eyes in disgust. 

   

     Denbo saw this, and quipped, "Is she your wife? You have my sympathies, sir."

 

     Mr. Dolten smirked, and then laughed, "Thank you, even though you're nothing more that my brain playing tricks on me, due to having several beers too many."

 

     Denbo replied, "Tell me, what kind of an illusion does this? " and he grabbed one of his front paws with the other, and waved it back and forth in Mr. Dolten's face, shouting, "Suck it, pal!"

 

     Despite himself, Mr. Dolten laughed out loud.  "You've got some stones, I'll grant you that."

 

     "Stones?  You mean nuts?  Does it look  like I have any nuts, huh?" Denbo replied, and thrust his pelvis forward.  "Yeah, I'm a nut-less wonder; does that make you happy?"

 

     Dolten felt first embarrassment, then anger come upon him.  "Screw you!" and he grabbed Denbo and started backhanding him.  "I-don't-think- you're-very-funny, a*s-hole!"  It was at this very moment that Doris opened the door and saw Mr. Dolten seemingly beating the s**t out of a teddy bear. 

 

    

     Oh, the pain; oh, the humiliation!  Denbo's head rocked first one way, then the other, as Dolten took out his anger on his furry face.  He was just about to yell when he noticed Mrs. Denton come through the door, and it took all of his intestinal fortitude, or at least the equivalent for a gutless teddy bear, but he went limp.  As much as it hurt, it was outweighed by his wanting to stick it to that witch." 

 

 

     Doris came through the door and beheld an amazing site; her husband wailing on a teddy bear.  "Wow, honey, does that make you feel like a real man?  You must be so proud!"

 

     A chagrined Mr. Denton stopped hitting Denbo and sheepishly replied, "Honey, you're not going to believe this, but this bear's alive."

 

     Doris felt anger, and blurted, "From Davy here," she said, glancing at him, "I expect this bullshit lying, but you too?"

 

     "No, dear, I'm telling you, this bear's alive," and he flung Denbo into the wall, saying, "Watch!"

 

     Denbo felt the impact of as he bounced off the wall and skidded painfully to a stop on the carpeted floor.  As he lay there with his button-eyes staring at the ceiling, he somehow managed to keep from crying out, but this was going to cost Mr. Dolten dearly!

 

     "Oh s**t; not you too?  Does everyone think I'm that stupid?" Doris shouted; "Look, it's just a fricking teddy bear," she added, and walked over to where Denbo lay crumpled in a heap, and launched him back across the room and into the other wall.  Denbo felt a jolting pain, as he came to rest on the floor.  This was total bullshit.

 

     "Alright; I've had enough of this cruise missile s**t; I be damned if I'll sit here and wait until one of you fuc--"

 

     "Mumbo-jumbo!" shouted Jasper, who up until this point, hadn't said too much.  It had been entertaining, but enough was enough.  Immediately, all three of the Doltens collapsed in a heap. 

 

     Denbo looked at them, and shouted, "What was that s**t?  I was just getting to the fun part."

 

     "I'm well aware of your idea of fun," replied Jasper, "and that's why I pulled the plug before you got really wound up!"

 

     "Ah, s**t!"

 

The End

    

 

    

    

    

 

    

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

        

             

Reviews

[A. H. Pinley]

Now that was fun. What happened to the family? You laid the story out just right. Good work!

[Michael Stevens]

Thanks; I'm probably not done with the Dolton's, but right now, my creativity has left the building!

[Marie]

Quite a story--talking teddy bears. And not cuddly ones either.

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you, and I thought it would be interesting to explore the topic!