Dear Winifred; Oct. 28

Advice column!

 

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

     Dear Winifred; I need your advice; my neighbor has a dog who barks all day and night.  I finally got upset enough to confront him.  When I told him his dog barks constantly, he defensively replied that it's what dogs do.  I told him it was rude to disrupt the whole neighborhood like that.  He then stomped back inside his house and slammed the door.  What should I do now?  I don't think I was rude in saying that, I just want a quiet night's sleep.  Signed Sleep-Deprived"

 

     "Dear Sleep-Deprived, might I suggest taking an ice pick to his car tires?  If Mr. Dick keeps acting like a dick, give him a not-so-subtle hint about how pissed you are.  It might sound like a petty, childish thing to do, and maybe it is, but I guess you've got to get down on his level.  If he still doesn't get the hint about how upset you are; might I suggest Fido-steaks?  Winifred"

Reviews

[Marie]

Taking an ice pick to car tires isn't going to hepl the situation...
I'd suggest bringing a large, fierce tom cat into the mix...

[A. H. Pinley]

After Fidosteaks, ask one more question. You catch my drift? Wink, wink... Winifred"

[Michael Stevens]

A.H., I'm afraid I'm asleep at the switch this morning; you'll have to explain you comment like you would to an 8 year old child. Then, I'll try to reach that level of understanding. It'll be tough, but I'm pretty confident I can reach up that high!

[A. H. Pinley]

I'll rewrite the whole response with additation.