Dear Winifred; Oct. 31

Advice (NOT good!) column!

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred; I am a 35 year old male who lives alone.  My family is constantly wondering why.  I like living alone, with the freedom to do what I want, when I want.  All I hear at family get-togethers is "You must be so miserable; why don't you meet a nice girl and settle down?"  Frankly, it's kind of insulting to me, because they assume I can't possibly be happy living alone, when in fact I'm perfectly content.  How can I let them know that they're making me feel bad, and back off?  Signed Alone for a Good Reason"

 

     "Dear Alone for a Good Reason; Do you really want them to leave you alone?  Try paying a prostitute with a foul mouth to pretend to be your girlfriend, and, at the next family get together, have the foul-mouthed hooker just start spewing her foul language.  I guaranty you, once they meet who they think is your girlfriend, they'll never say anything when you show up to your next family gathering all by yourself.  If you think you may have trouble locating a foul-mouthed hooker, a few of my friends dabble in that fine art; just write me another letter, and I'll set it up, for a small fee, of course; I mean, do I look or sound like the kind of woman that would do anything  for free?  Winifred"

Reviews

[Marie]

In case Winifred may be right...

In fact if he took her to his next family reunion all his problems would be solved...

[Michael Stevens]

Yes, they would be; thanks Marie!

[A. H. Pinley]

guarantee? Oh the cat's out of the bag. Winifred is a woman? Get a dog...

[Michael Stevens]

Thanks A.H!

[A. H. Pinley]

How about substituting hooker with broad and sleaze in the response?

[Michael Stevens]

I didn't want to get too derogatory in my description.

[A. H. Pinley]

Well being that it's coming from a woman, I think Winifred can get a pass...

[Michael Stevens]

Yeah, but will people think it's her, or a thinly disguised version of my thinking, because it's complely the opposite of my thoughts!