Dear Winifred; Nov. 10

Advice (NOT good!) column

 

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred; I've got a problem I'd like your advice on.  Recently, my wife and I went camping with our new best friends, a couple I'll call Ken and Barbie.  Well, everything was going fine until it was dinner time.  Then, as we're enjoying the peace and quiet of the great outdoors, the silence was broken not by conversation, but by the sound of Ken slurping ravioli and Barbie having a coughing fit with her mouth open and no hand in front of it.  My wife and I were so sickened by the noises the two were making we were unable to finish.  They sounded like two hogs at the trough.  Should we say something?  They've been hinting around that we should all go camping again, but I don't see how I can face that again.  We don't want to lose their friendship, but...   Should we say anything?  Signed Sickened."

 

   

     "Dear Sickened, by all means, let them know it's ralph-time around the old camp fire for you both, and you'd prefer having a root canal without Novocain to watching them gorge themselves like a couple of wallow-rolling hogs.  I guess it all depends on whether you'd like good friends, or eating in The Cone of Silence so you can eat without the risk of anyone doing anything, and that includes moving, that may offend your eating in peace.  Good lord, if you're both that easily offended, I guess my calling you both a couple of self-centered losers would really set you off, so I won't.  Winifred."   

Reviews

[Marie]

Ken and Barbie don't soun like companions I would choose...I thnk they should go to Winifred's house for dinner...

[Michael Stevens]

You're right, except Winifred doesn't cook, or so I've been told!