Dear Winifred; Nov. 24

Advice (NOT good!) column

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred, my girlfriend sometimes locks me out of the house when we disagree on something.  I feel this is a very juvenile way to deal with a minor argument.  Am I wrong?  Signed Summer's Okay, but Winter?  Forget About It!"

 

 

     "Dear Summer's Okay, But Winter?  Forget About It!, First of all, could your signature be any longer?  I mean, I almost nodded off trying to type this s**t.  Second of all, could you hang on one second?"

 

     "Bernice, what kind of s**t is this?  As my assistant, your main job is to weed out bullshit letters so I don't have to dick around, wasting my time trying to respond to 'problems' like the one like this guy's whining about.  If you can't do your job, girls like you, with little or no experience, and in your case, no common sense, are a dime a dozen.  Please clear out so I can try the next one?  Winifred."

 

     "Okay, Dear Summer's Okay, But Winter?  Forget About It!, here's how you should handle your problem; the next time she locks you out, walk to the nearest mini market, buy a 6 pack of beer and maybe some corn nuts or beef jerky, walk back, guzzling all the beer along the way, eat the corn nuts or jerky, and wish real hard that you might grow a pair.  Then, with some bigger stones, just yell that you're pissed, and hopefully she'll get the hint, I mean, come on!  Winifred."

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Marie]

Why in the world would someone be wiling to work for Winifred? Or is Vernice planning a secret coup...?

[Michael Stevens]

That is a good question, one I thankfully don't have to answer!

[A. H. Pinley]

How did he end up outside to begin with? Did she trick him into taking out the trash just like the last time this episode occurred? Still a fun piece of work...

[Michael Stevens]

A.H., thank you!