Dear Winifred; Jan. 7

Advice (NOT good!) column

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred, I need your advice on a big problem; I live in an apartment, and 3C, or more specifically, the person who lives there, always has a party going, and his guests always park in the no parking zone in front of the garbage; leaving me no access.  I've talked to him repeatedly about this, and each time he promises it won't happen again, and the next weekend, darned if his friends aren't parked there again. Needless to say, I'm getting rather steamed; how would you suggest I handle the situation?  Signed Perturbed."

 

 

     "Dear Perturbed, thank you for clearing up the who lives there problem.  Otherwise, I'd have a hell of a time telling if it was a person, or an actual apartment who lived there.  You saved me the embarrassment of telling you to give it up, because you can't beat a brainless wooden structure.  Now a person?  A person is different.  They may react when you call them a recent graduate of The Hoover School for Complete Tools.  If that fails, and he still doesn't get it through his Head 10 Times Larger Than is Needed for His Brain, several boulders dropped from your balcony, onto anyone parked illegally below (assuming you can reach them with it.  You may have to resort to chucking smaller rocks from somewhere safe nearby) which should drive home the fact that you're slightly unhappy.  Winifred."

Reviews

[Marie]

I think Pinley's idea is a good one too.

[Michael Stevens]

Yep; it's a good one!

[Michael Stevens]

Hey, great idea, A.H.; ha!

[A. H. Pinley]

I'd just bury the cars in trash. But that's just me.