Dear Winifred; Jan. 20

Advice (NOT good!) column

I've hedged my bets!  Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred, I wrote to you yesterday, telling you I wore the same clothes for over a week to do my part to ensure a Seahawk victory, and it looks like it paid off, as we're going to the Super Bowl!  Just wanted to ask you who's crazy now, huh?  Signed The Most Hardcore Hawks Fan."

 

     "Dear 'The Most Hardcore Hawks Fan', what's this 'we' s**t?  I've got some bad news for you; YOU weren't playing, okay?  Now what?  Are you telling me that you're going to wear the same clothes for the TWO WEEKS until the Super Bowl?  After that amount of time, not only will your clothes be standing up by themselves, they'll be getting jobs and driving themselves to work.  I still think you're pathetic; the outcome of a sporting event is not contingent on what clothes you wear. Winifred."

 

OR,

 

     "Dear Winifred, well, I took your advice and decided that wearing the same clothes between games was ludicrous and changed; and they lost!  See?  Signed The Most Hardcore Hawks fan."

 

     "Dear 'The Most Hardcore Hawks Fan', you're just pissed and lashing out a the nearest whipping person, me.  Believe me, your changing clothes had ZERO effect on the outcome of the game.  I know that admitting that is tough for a loser/whiner/superstitious/door knob, but the sooner you admit you are a self-absorbed dick and you've got delusions of grandeur, the sooner everyone else can say, 'WHAT a fricking moron!" like me.  Winifred." 

Reviews

[Marie]

What the fans do--even the most hardcore fans--has no effect on the outcome of a game. I know there are people who actually don't realize this.

[Michael Stevens]

Unfortunately, you're correct!