Dear Winifred; Jan. 24

Advice (NOT good!) column

 

Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

    "Dear Winifred, I broke up with my long time girlfriend some time back, and we remain friends.  Yesterday, I received an invitation to her wedding.  I hate to admit this, as I'm the one who broke it off, but I still love her and watching her marry another guy will be extremely difficult for me.  What should I do?  Go, and be miserable, or not go and lose a friendship?  Signed Pride and Purgatory."

 

 

     "Dear 'Pride and Purgatory', I'd have several malt liquors, show up about 9 sheets to the wind, and shout and slur obscenities at the lovely couple.  I'd give them a wedding present of a package of condoms, and yell out when they open it, "Believe me, I'm doing y'all a favor; you know, just so there's zero chance of Lurch here passing on his dog-style ugly gene!"  Sure, you'll quickly be escorted off the premises, but what a laugh, huh?   And as for losing her as a friend?  Who were you kidding?  Winifred."