Dear Winifred; Mar. 9

Advice (NOT good!) column

     Dear Winifred, lately I've been very uncomfortable at family gatherings because my son recently turned 14, and apparently, the rest of my family believes I'm doing a lousy job raising Mando, because they're always telling him to, "sit up straighter, pull up your pants," etc.  They are making him feel very uncomfortable, as well as angering me.  I feel it improper for them to try disciplining my son; where do you stand, do you think I'm correct to be angry?  Signed Frustrated Mother

 

     Dear Frustrated Mother, first of all, why in God's name did you name the poor unfortunate kid Mando?  You may just as well named him Severe Beating and be done with it; second, seriously, what the hell had you been smoking?  Next time you write in with something else you managed to f**k up, will you share some of your dope with old Winifred?  Mando?  That name makes it impossible for me to concentrate on any of the myriad of problems you so clearly have.  "Mando; the name has been changed to Mitch because Mando's mom is obviously battling crippling insecurities, about God knows what, and can't or won't see that naming a child that is really, really messed up; quite possibly the most messed up name Winifred has seen in quite a while!"  Winifred 

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Ha oh how I love Wini...Mando....awh c'mon. You slay me with this advice column, luckily she doesn't live in my head...

[Michael Stevens]

Bad enough she lives in mine; believe me, you're lucky!

[Frieda P]

I have my own problems in my head, they're just not called Winifred, and hardly as entertaining!

[Michael Stevens]

Oh, it's crowded in my head; unfortunately, Winifred has plenty of company!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Seriously Mikey "Mando". That is not even a name .Please god don't let that be a name lol

[Michael Stevens]

What, Mando's a FINE name!

[Vidya Bacchus]

In what reality is Mando a fine name mister?

[Michael Stevens]

Well, let me think about it and get back to you; I wouldn't hold my breath though!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yeah I know lol

[Marie]

WIth a name like Mando, he should really be trying harder.

[Michael Stevens]

You say Mando, and I say Mando also; I have absolutely no idea where I was going with this!

[Goat]

HAHAHA! This made me laugh really hard! I love the way you made it into an advice column. You should write more humorous stories like this, Winifred is hilarious. You could make it into a short story collection. Hey, at least they didn't name the boy Sue!

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you, and I try to post a new Dear Winifred most days, you know, just because she's so world-wise, it'd be a shame to keep her voice from the people. I'm sort of planning on making her 'advice' into a book, but after many, many more columns. Yeah, I guess this is ground Johnny Cash already covered!

[Marie]

A boy named Sue? WInifred could really have made something out of that.

[Michael Stevens]

Yeah, she always uses somebody else's idea, anyway, so why not?