Dear Winifred; Mar. 22

Advice (NOT good!) column

     Dear Winifred, I'm a professional athlete, or at least I want to be; should be.  I know deep down I have everything it takes, but so far at least, I haven't had any luck.  What I need is help in dealing with all this crushing disappointment.  Slinging Sammy

 

 

     Dear Slinging Sammy, if you change bodies with someone who has real athletic talent, yeah, you may have a shot; because losers who write in for advice more than likely have none.  And, what you need help with is not in dealing with crushing disappointment, it's in being an unrealistic knob!  Yeah, and I've long dreamed of playing the pan flute in a musical adaptation of Death Wish III, but it doesn't look like either one of us is going to be living our dream, so let's get real, shall we?  Winifred  

Reviews

[Frieda P]

I must admit I love it when she calls her admirers a 'knob'...ha and I must concur with Marie here...

[Michael Stevens]

Thanks much, Frieda!

[Marie]

It seems to me WInifred is living her dream. She gets to spread her venom wide, put down veryone she comes in contact with...

[Michael Stevens]

Yeah, she's living her dream, while everyone else is living a nightmare!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Ha he deserved what he got lol

[Michael Stevens]

I'm not sure ANYONE deserves advice from Winifred!

[Vidya Bacchus]

He asked so hell yes he deserves what he got lol

[Michael Stevens]

True, but I don't think he had ANY clue what he was in for!

[Vidya Bacchus]

I knew so he should have asked me like "Dear Vidya should I ask Wini for advice ?"lol

[Michael Stevens]

Did you learn NOTHING from my last reply? Winifred's advice, NO!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Ha perhaps I been dipping in our penicillin stash sorry :)

[Michael Stevens]

Hey, save some for later, and me!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You snooze you lose buddy.

[Michael Stevens]

Oh, I see how this works!

[Vidya Bacchus]

It is not fault you have narcolepsy and falls asleep every minute.I waited but you fell asleep as soon as I tried to give you some so....

[Michael Stevens]

Hey, I set the alarm, but the fricking battery must have been dead; no? would you believe the power must have gone out, and my electric cloc---no?

[Vidya Bacchus]

No I do not believe that Mikey.You trying to kid a kidder? Lamest line ever and the award goes to me lol

[Michael Stevens]

Blue Ribbon; winner, winner!

[A. H. Pinley]

Dear Winifred, I'm a talented athlete trapped in a non-athletic body. Please help...

[Michael Stevens]

Not you too? If I had a dollar for every letter I get from people claiming they could be the next Michael Jordan or someone, I'd be wealthy and wouldn't have to read bullshit letters fom dicks like you! Winifred