Dear Winifred; Mar. 23

Advice (NOT good!) column

     Dear Winifred, I've got a unique problem, see, I get tied up in knots when talking to a pretty girl, and I'm 85!  One would expect to outgrow such a problem during the teenage years but not so with me.  What would you advise I do to get beyond this embarrassing problem?  Signed 85, and Still Want to Rock and Roll

 

 

     Dear 85, and Still Want to Rock and Roll, oh, lord, now I've go to get the image of an 85 year old doing the horizontal bop with anyone stupid enough to fall for The Ancient Fornicator; I would suggest you take yourself out of the game before you pull something, which is oddly also my advice to you; pull something!  Winifred

 

Reviews

[Marie]

An 85 year old man should not be making overtures to a pretty girl.It doesn't mean he's out of the game, just that he should use some judgement.

[Michael Stevens]

Like the judgement I showed in thinking this would be remotely humorous!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha I have no words here Mikey you have effectively stumped me.What!!! did you say 85 ?Can he even still move?

[Michael Stevens]

Well, apparently someone on another site didn't think much of my sense of humor; she reamed me good about such an offensive piece. She said never mind if I was kidding, I shouldn't be saying what I said; she was offended; I wrote back that she should un-clench her a*s! No, I said that with a character like Winifred, it was a certainty that someone would get offended. You know, believe it or not, I'm not in the habit (See? Nuns!) of being mean-spirited with my humor. I really try not to offend, which, you're probably asking yourself, "Then why did you create her?" Well, I also happen to think there's very little in this world that isn't funny!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are kidding...right.Anyone can see this is just comedy.You know chances are anything we write we are liable to piss someone off.You know what to heck with her.Can't please all the people all the time .You know this.I find this immensely funny .I hope she doesn't take offence and f**k me up too lol

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you, and if you're f****d up, then we're both f****d up!

[Michael Stevens]

"Note to self--please real all comments carefully, or you'll wind up sounding like a fool!"

[Vidya Bacchus]

Excellent f***ing company I think Mikey lol.You are welcome beers are on me :)

[Michael Stevens]

F****g cool; that's my f*****g way of trying to sound cool!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh lord.You crack me up.They are going to kick us of this very nice site and we will have to go to the one with the woman who wants to butcher you lol

[Michael Stevens]

Sorry site, I din't mean to offend; see, I've done it again!

[Vidya Bacchus]

The site is shaking its head and I don't think it is impressed by your very lame apology lol

[Marie]

I was kissed by an 85 year old man once, and I still remember it...

[Michael Stevens]

Yeah, so was I; I called the police!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha you need help my friend )

[Michael Stevens]

Oh, is my comment visible? Eh, ha, ha, just kidding; eh, ha, ha!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahaha get help you looney tick lol

[Michael Stevens]

I did have help, but the therapist gave up, saying "There is no hope for Mike. Here's the line of sanity, and here's Mike, WELL over it!"

[Vidya Bacchus]

Ha well I did see that coming :)

[Michael Stevens]

That obvious? Maybe I should give up this trying to be funny s**t?

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh please ,and then what ?Can you imagine us trying to hold a semi -sane conversation? crawled my blood there lol

[Michael Stevens]

No, I guess I can't; good point!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha .............:)