Sergeant Regret of The Word Police!
A Poem by Michael Stevens
 If only! 
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a personal word
police
Inside your head?
One that saw the ignorant words you
Were speaking, and slapped a net over them
Before they could hit the intended target?
Boy, I can't tell you how many times I could
Have used a Sergeant Restraint being on duty
Because apparently, I can't police myself
If idiot words were a hole, I'd be damn near to
China
By know; I just keep on shoveling until the hole is
so
Deep, I can order Chinese take-out, direct from the
source!
© 2014 Michael Stevens
Reviews
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A sensor would be an ideal means of prevention.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thank you much; and yes it would be; unfortunately, sometimes I don't have one. Do you happen to kn.. read moreThank you much; and yes it would be; unfortunately, sometimes I don't have one. Do you happen to know where I can buy one? It would have to be used, cause a new one is well beyond my price range!
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We all need this hidden sensor really, a delightful piece, well done, good read.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thank you much!
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11 Years Ago
your welcome.
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We could all use one. Fun poem
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Thank you much; I figured most people can relate to this!
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Ah the thought bubble vs. the speech bubble. It can be tough when bubbles collide.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Or, The Fox Bubble; prevent's the truth from being absorbed; oops, how many times must I tell myself.. read moreOr, The Fox Bubble; prevent's the truth from being absorbed; oops, how many times must I tell myself, NO politics!
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11 Years Ago
LOL that I totally agree with.
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11 Years Ago
Whew! I've gotten into it with a couple of right-leaning people on here; DANGEROUS territory! Ther.. read moreWhew! I've gotten into it with a couple of right-leaning people on here; DANGEROUS territory! There's nothing you can say; they don't deal with facts and stuff!
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Yeah sign me up for one of those doohickeys.I would also like to filter some things in my head before it reaches my mouth lol
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Take a number and get in line behind me!
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11 Years Ago
So what are you saying.Is there just the two of us in this line? Did you bring any beer Mikey ?This .. read moreSo what are you saying.Is there just the two of us in this line? Did you bring any beer Mikey ?This could take a while :)
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11 Years Ago
I'm just saying that if anyone ever needed one, it's me; and yes, I brought some beer, but the keg w.. read moreI'm just saying that if anyone ever needed one, it's me; and yes, I brought some beer, but the keg was too unwieldy, so all I have is this case!
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11 Years Ago
I hope its not the empty case.
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11 Years Ago
it's not empty, but all I could afford is Lampshade Ale; I hope that's okay? That way, when you get.. read moreit's not empty, but all I could afford is Lampshade Ale; I hope that's okay? That way, when you get s**t-faced, it has it's own light so you can see where you're going! Sorry, that's the best I can do BC (Before Coffee!)
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11 Years Ago
Hahahaha as long as I get a buzz I don't care lol
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11 Years Ago
Okay, all is right with the world, I'm caffeinated; well not everything; how do you explain the hig.. read moreOkay, all is right with the world, I'm caffeinated; well not everything; how do you explain the high ratings for 'Scandal"?
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11 Years Ago
Omg you don't like Scandal !!!!!
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11 Years Ago
I tried to, I really tried to, as I do enjoy a political show, but Scandal is like a daytime soap op.. read moreI tried to, I really tried to, as I do enjoy a political show, but Scandal is like a daytime soap opera; sorry if I pissed you off!
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11 Years Ago
You might have a point .I seem to be the only one I know who likes it lol.Have you seen "Banshee" or.. read moreYou might have a point .I seem to be the only one I know who likes it lol.Have you seen "Banshee" or "Sons of Anarchy".I love SOA.It might be my most favourite show ever.
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11 Years Ago
No, I've heard 'Sons of Anarchy' is good, but I must admit I've not heard of 'Banshee'!
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11 Years Ago
So what the heck are you watching if not my 3 favourite shows.Its not that honey boo boo thing is it.. read moreSo what the heck are you watching if not my 3 favourite shows.Its not that honey boo boo thing is it ?
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11 Years Ago
Ah, no! Please, 'Honey Boo-Boo'; to call it moronic is giving it too much credit! 'Duck Dynasty, n.. read moreAh, no! Please, 'Honey Boo-Boo'; to call it moronic is giving it too much credit! 'Duck Dynasty, now THERE'S a great show!
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11 Years Ago
I have never watched that.Are you serious you like it?
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11 Years Ago
No, I just wanted the dumbest example of a show I could think of, and this was the first that came t.. read moreNo, I just wanted the dumbest example of a show I could think of, and this was the first that came to mind!
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11 Years Ago
Ha thank god .I was beginning to rethink our friendship.
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11 Years Ago
No, you can't get rid of me THAT easy!
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11 Years Ago
Ha good to know lol.If you watch "keeping up with the kadashians " I shall never speak to you again.
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11 Years Ago
Okay, now you've gone too far; making fun of THE best show on television! Lol!
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11 Years Ago
Lol.I am taking my beer and coffee and finding myself another friend .I am disgusted at your viewing.. read moreLol.I am taking my beer and coffee and finding myself another friend .I am disgusted at your viewing choices stick!!!!
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11 Years Ago
Okay, I LOVE the show, but if it means losing you as a friend, I'll reluctantly stop watching it; da.. read moreOkay, I LOVE the show, but if it means losing you as a friend, I'll reluctantly stop watching it; damn though!
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11 Years Ago
Okay right choice.Here have a beer you deserve it for making such a monumental decision lol
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11 Years Ago
Thank you, that'll help!
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11 Years Ago
Of course it will help lol
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11 Years Ago
Beer ALWAYS helps; what was I thinking?
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11 Years Ago
Ha my reasoning exactly :)
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11 Years Ago
Yeah I' smart; or is it the beer taking? Ha, a talking beer!
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11 Years Ago
Ha good heavens a talking beer lol
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11 Years Ago
I'm afraid it'd be a he, and say "Hey there, swallow me!"
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11 Years Ago
Omg stick why are you so bad lol.It must be the beer talking haha
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11 Years Ago
No--yeah, it's the beer, yeah, that's it!
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11 Years Ago
lol..............:)
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11 Years Ago
What, I'm totally serious!
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11 Years Ago
Oh umm sorry of course you were lol
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There's supposed to be a monitor in your head to keep you from saying the wrong thing. Either I don't have one, or I don't listen to it.
Posted 11 Years Ago
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11 Years Ago
Apparently, I have one, but it's drowned out by stupidity, of which I have plenty; in fact, if you e.. read moreApparently, I have one, but it's drowned out by stupidity, of which I have plenty; in fact, if you ever need some, I have extra!
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11 Years Ago
I certainly don't need any more.
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11 Years Ago
I hear that!
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Stats
184 Views
6 Reviews
Added on April 5, 2014
Last Updated on April 5, 2014
Author
Michael Stevens
About
I write for fun; I write comedy pieces and some dramatic stuff. I have no formal writing education, and I have a fear of being told I suck, and maybe I should give up on writing, and get a job makin.. more..
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