Humble Pie!

The never-ending battle waged against technology!

 

     Clark Bigelow lugged his brand new computer up the stairs to the house he shared with his parents.  At last, the gateway to discovery was going to be opened for him; now he'd be able to take his invisible Trans Am and cruise down the old information super-highway.  There was so much information now available at the touch of a button that he couldn't believe it. 

 

 

     There, the damn thing was all set up.  Once he turned it on, it would be rock and roll time. 

 

    

     He was talking to his parents that night at dinner.  He was telling them about the scientific web site he had stumbled upon quite by accident when he was trying to find Himilayas.com, a web site dedicated to women with enormous breasts, but he figured to admit that to his parents wasn't a very bright idea.

 

    "I found a fascinating web site for lesser-known facts about The Himalayan Mountains.  Did you know that the whole range is moving at approximately twenty millimeters a year?  They use a giant ruler to measure."

 

     "Really Clark?" his mother said.

 

     "No, not really Mom; I'm sure they use lasers or something to do the measuring."  What?

 

     "Oh yeah, I guess they can do that sort of thing now days."

 

 

     Clark was safely ensconced in his room, staring at the warning that had just appeared on his computer screen telling him that the web site he was trying to access was unsafe and his computer wouldn't allow him access.  But he was determined to gain access, so he typed in 'blocked access to a web site', and several possible sights popped up on his screen.  He clicked on one, and it told him how to get around that particular problem.  He did everything it told him to do, clicked on the site he wanted, and it still wouldn't let him access.  Damn!  He got angry and yelled at his computer, like that would magically fix things, like maybe his computer would then realize just how upset he was, and allow him access to the site in question.  Surprise, nothing changed.  Suddenly, his little five year old nephew peaked his head in the room and asked him what he was upset about.  Clark thought to himself, Oh yeah, like you're going to understand anything about computers. 

     "Hey Jimmy, I'm just upset because I can't figure out something."

 

     Little Jimmy was visiting for dinner with his younger brother and his wife, and Clark tried his best to placate the lad, telling him it was 'an adult problem', that he couldn't access a web site.  Ever since the accident that had caused him to move home, he'd taken refuge in, first, television, and now he'd do the same with his computer, but he just didn't understand a lot about how they worked.  It was frustrating enough to struggle with technology, but to have his five year old nephew bugging him?  He'd reached his maximum frustration level.  He needed a break. 

 

     "Well Jimmy, I'm going for a walk to think about this problem," and he turned and walked to the front door, and outside. 

 

 

     When he returned a couple of hours later, he still had no idea what he should try next.  His brother's car was still parked in the driveway, so they hadn't left.  He said a quick hello to all of them sitting on the couch; the adults were having coffee; and little Jimmy was sound asleep.  He trudged into his room and sat down at the computer; he thought he'd better try again; only the web site he'd been going crazy trying to figure out a way to access was up on the screen.  Well, I'll be damned;  something I did must have worked, but I have no idea what! he thought.  Then, from the doorway came the sleepy voice of little Jimmy,

 

     "I hope you don't mind, but while you were gone I sort of messed around and got on the web site; I hope that's the right one."

 

     "It is, but how did you figure out which one?"

 

     "Oh, I looked at your recent web activity, and noticed you'd tried to access this site a bunch of times, so I figured this must be the one you're upset about."

 

     "Oh, well, what did you do to make it work?"

 

     "Oh, it's too complicated."

     Too complicated?  Bested by his five year old nephew; he knew he was old, but right at this moment, he felt like a living fossil!

 

The End

 

 

 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

Ha this is the reality of today's world.My kids I am sure probably know more than me when it comes to computers and such.They seem to be born with this knowledge nowadays lol .I see you were bested by your nephew "funny uncle Mike "

[Michael Stevens]

Yeah, 'Funny Uncle Mike' indeed; the kid's got a BRIGHT future if he's smart enough to see reality!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha you are hilarious Mikey lol

[Marie]

That is right on target. If you need to make technology work, find a child.
Actually, my daughter is 50. All she has to do is touch a button, and things work. Or coure, she wouldn't let me into any protected sites...

[Michael Stevens]

I based this on something that actually happened to me, although to be honest, I can't remember the problem. I couldn't figure out how to do something on the computer, and my little nephew (I can't remember how old he was at the time, roughly about five or six, if I remember correctly!) had to show me how to get it done! Talk about being made to feel utterly useless!