"And, They're Off!"

The big Life Race!

 

"Welcome to the annual 'Life Race"

 

  In lane one, we have Mike Stevens

 

In lanes two through ten, all of life's possible happenings

 

The first runner to reach the finish line is the winner

 

Runners, take your marks, get set, GO!

 

Pain sprints to the early lead, followed by--

 

Hey, what in the hell is Mike doing?  He's running the wrong way!

 

He started out okay, but then inexplicably turned around

 

And started running in the opposite direction

 

What we've been told is correct; he's a total screw-up. 

 

Now he's on a collision course with the

 

Other runners; doesn't he see the people in the stands

 

Frantically waving that he should be running the

 

Opposite way?  Hell, forget finishing first, he'll be lucky to

 

Finish at all!  And, he's running with his head down;

 

Now the other runners are coming down the straight away

 

The other way; "Look out Mike!  You're going the

 

Wrong wa--" oh, he just collided with Fate, and they're both down!

 

It was a spectacular head-down collision; the

 

Dumb b*****d never saw Fate coming, totally unaware

 

He was running the wrong way.  Well, Fate is up and

 

Appears to be okay, if a little dazed; he's bound and

 

Determined to finish the race.  Meanwhile, Mike

 

Looks like he's seriously injured--no, wait,

 

He's staggering to his feet, and it looks

 

Like he's packing it in; what a wanker!

 

Meanwhile, back to the race; incredibly,

 

We have an eight-way tie for first, while Fate, because

 

Of the absolute moronics of Stevens, is just now

 

Staggering to the finish line, but at least he finished;

 

Unlike Moron Mike, who blew up the race and

 

Quit.  Well, life's possibilities will race again next week;

 

Mike, on the other hand, will only be another spectator 

 

Anyway, until next time, this is your announcer

 

Unseen Blowback saying, "Don't be a knob like Mike,

 

Take Life facing the right direction!"

 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

This made me laugh Mikey.Turn around and face fate buddy he always catches up with us anyway.Whether we run frontwards or backwards.

[Marie]

I don't know if this is funny or not. I laughed, but I'm sure I should have been cheering Mike on.

[Michael Stevens]

Well, thank you Marie; I'm kind of partial to him also!