Fizzo Jobhernia, Part Two

More Fizzo!

    While he was waiting to hear, he asked the guy if he could get him a cup of Jomamma, the traditional beverage drank by Herkonians.  Jomamma is a strong upper that got your hearts pumping in the morning.  Most all of Herkomia was hooked on it, Fizzo being no exception, and he was in no way surprised when the dude, whose name was Husker Fleshandle, said he'd take one, but preferred his in a syringe.  Kids today, always in a hurry! Fizzo thought to himself.

 

 

     Dak E waved him into his office and shut the door.  Fizzo sank to the floor, as he felt rather foolish in the office chairs.  Sitting on anything other than the ground felt too unnatural, although more and more young people were using chairs.  Just another example to him of the brood of freaks parents were raising; no wonder Herkonia was on a death spiral to ruin, at least according to himself.   Dak E, his tongue exploring the taste of the floor right in front of him, which was a sure sign that he was less than pleased, said to Fizzo,

 

     "We just got the guy's credit report back, and apparently the guy's a loser-knob, because I don't think I've ever seen a more pathetic excuse for a credit report; in fact, someone could be in prison for fraud, and they'd stand a better chance of scoring credit than this dude; there is no way on Herkonia I'd ever give this guy credit."

 

     Fizzo was shocked.  A dude would have to suck at living pretty bad to be turned down for credit at this place.  "Ah, what if I was to get him to agree the pay 50,000 Cayons?"

 

     "50,000 Cayons?  For that amount of money and twenty percent interest, I'd agree to let my pet lothar-beast Simkar finance the thing!"

 

    

******

 

 

     "Good news, Mr. Fleshandle, my boss says you're approved."

 

     "You're kidding?"

 

     "No, at Horago's Hovercrafts, we aim to please, and that includes finding a way for you to fly out of here with the hovercraft of your dreams."

 

     "I figured with my credit history, there was no way."

 

     "Nope, it's not going to be a problem," In reality, having people who'd had trouble paying in the past pay even more?  Does that make sense to anyone?  Oh well, his was not to wonder why, his was just to sell or be s**t canned.  "All you have to do is agree to pay slightly more than the asking price and at a mere twenty percent interest, and you can fly this baby out of here today!"

 

     "Twenty percent?  And how much more is 'slightly'?"

 

     "Oh, ah, fifty thousand Cayons?"

     "Pardon me, I couldn't have heard you correctly; I thought I heard you say fifty thousand Cayons."

 

     "I'm afraid you heard correctly Mr. Fleshhandle; and I think that's a fair price, considering you less-than-sterling credit history."

 

     "Well, there is no way I'm paying that much; the hovercraft is worth half that, tops!"

 

     Fizzo felt the flood gates open on his anger.  He knew he had better keep it in check, and sweet talk this guy into taking the deal, but all the frustration of kissing this guy's a*s for almost a full day and having absolutely nothing to show for it pissed him off royal. 

 

     "There's the door over there; here's me waving goodbye with my middle finger; and there's you getting the f**k out of my face!"

 

     "Well, if this is how you treat all your customers, that's a bad way to treat them!"

 

     "No, it's pretty much just you, you piece of no-credit s**t!"  Fizzo was literally turning the color of one of Earth's musk-oxen, he was so pissed.  He hadn't turned that shade of gray-brown since, well, since never.  This was uncharted territory for him.  Fleshandle just stared in disbelief, shook his head, and slowly started to walk away; but not fast enough for Fizzo.  "Hey, move it and don't let the door hit you on the a*s on your way out!"

 

     Fleshandle, apparently deciding that Fizzo was off his nut, also decided he wanted to keep his good looks, (although Fizzo would disagree about that!), kept walking, practically running as fast as his four legs could scamper, out the door and was soon lost in the twilight.  Fizzo, for his part, felt pretty good, at least until Dak E shouted that he wanted to see him in his office right away. 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Marie]

I thought Fizzo was a better salesman that that. I once turned down a car deal over the dfference of a hundred dollars.and the salesmannever once lost his smile.

[Michael Stevens]

Fizzo lost his cool a little; okay, a lot!